


The Cruellest Thing

by GerdavR



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, I'm Sorry, NOW LOOK AT ME, Slow Burn, this was a crackship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-04-21 14:10:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GerdavR/pseuds/GerdavR
Summary: After a failed mission Rose and Hux crash on an uninhabited jungle planet ...





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my lovely beta [aliyamirat](http://aliyamirat.tumblr.com/) who was kind enough to read my fic! English isn't my first language so please be kind :3  
> I got the idea when I read [proximity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13185447/chapters/30159483) by Callicokitten - a true masterpiece of the genre! Many thanks to Callicokitten for writing such a great story!

Rose Tico used to daydream about all the heroic deeds she would accomplish when she first joined the Resistance. But it took her only a couple of days to realise that the rebels were already full on skilled pilots like her sister, hot-blooded daredevils and heroic leaders like Poe Dameron. They were in desperate need of grease monkeys though, people who could fix blasters, fighters and jammed doors to command centres.

She knew of course that she was as important as the next resistance fighter. And truth to be told she wasn’t the best shot anyway, but with a hydro spanner she was a poet. Every TIE fighter shot down by the cannons she had carefully adjusted felt like a personal victory.

And perhaps not everybody was cut out to be a hero. A hero like Paige who had given her life for the cause she believed in; a hero like General Organa who fought the good fight decades after decades, without losing hope or her warmth; a hero like Finn who turned against the system who had brought him up.

Finn. When she met Finn she was overwhelmed, even awed by him. And she had seen the way Finn had looked at Rey when she had saved them – and Rose had understood. It was only proper for a hero to fall for a heroine. The woman who had slain Supreme Leader Snoke and had defeated his guards, there was no way she could compete against that. At first she had felt a sting of jealousy every time she had seen Finn smile at Rey, but when General Organa set up a new base in the Outer Rim she got to know her; she had instantly liked her. Rey was good-hearted, brave and a true friend. She had also grown from a spunky scavenger into a cool-headed leader. General Organa and she were often seen discussing strategies late at night.

And Rose … Rose was where she had started. She still enjoyed her work, but sometimes she caught herself daydreaming again, remembering the time she had the audacity to sneak on board of a First Order cruiser. Finn still visited her, they had become friends, but she felt that her moment of glory was gone.

When Poe asked her to help him with a mission, she didn’t even need to think. Didn’t even ask if there was someone else who could do the job.

“Don’t you want to hear first what the mission entails?” asked Poe with a smile.

Rose eagerly rubbed her hands together. “I’m up for anything.”

“Good to hear. So, have you ever heard of Ghrma 4?”

She shook her head.

“Neither had I until we received intel that the First Order was trying to land on this moon.“

Rose frowned. “Trying?”

“There are a lot of ion particles in the atmosphere. It plays havoc with most systems. As far as we can tell they haven’t succeeded, but we have to assume that there is something important on this rock. Long story short – we want you to isolate a shuttle as good as possible so that we can have a look at whatever the First Order is doing down there.“

“That’s it?” asked Rose, unable to hide her disappointment. “I’m not even going on the mission?”

Poe patted her back. “There is no need to risk a pilot and our best mechanic in a simple recon mission.”

Rose suspected that Poe wasn’t entirety truthful when he called her the ‘best mechanic‘, but she decided to take the compliment anyway.

“Okay.”

 

 

It took her about two days until she had a shuttle ready. There was no real protection against ion particles, but she had done what was humanly possible. When she put the finishing touches on the engines she realised that she had to do more than just prep the ship. There was no other way, she told herself.

“I need go too,” said Rose to Poe when she reported to him.

He put down his data pad and stared at her disbelievingly.

“If the system fails the pilot needs to reboot the whole shielding manually. A droid could do that, but it couldn’t handle the ion particles any more than the ship itself.“ She crossed her arms. „I know the system.”

Poe sighted and leaned back in his chair. “You’re the expert. If you think that’s the best course of action, then we’ll do as you say.”

Rose blinked in surprise. That had been easier than she had expected.

“The take-off is tomorrow at 05:00,” said Poe. “Wex will be piloting.”

 

 

Rose was in the hangar half an hour before take-off and checked the modifications. Everything was in order; she allowed herself another cup of caf and a ration bar and waited for Wex.

He was a young pilot, but very conscientious. They left the hangar on time and Rose sat in the co-pilot seat as he plotted the course.

A couple of hours later they entered the Ghrma system. Rose felt slightly nervous as they approached the planet. She checked the ion particle density of the planet on her console when Wex suddenly changed course.

She jerked her head up and expected to see an armada of TIE fighters – but instead she saw nothing but a single ship rather far away.

“Did they detect us?”

“Nope, we’re out of range.”

“Then why did you change course?” asked Rose.

“It’s a First Order command shuttle. Only the upper brass uses them. Usually they’re accompanied by TIE fighters … but this one is alone.”

Rose narrowed her eyes. “Are you certain?”

“This is an incredible opportunity – if we can damage their long range comms before they can call for help …” He sounded excited. “Think about the intel we could gather.”

Rose licked her lips and smiled. “That would be something. What are their defensive capabilities?”

“A twin cannon as far as I know.”

“As far as you know? You’re not certain?”

He gave her a lop-sided grin. “Let’s have a look.”

Rose shifted in her seat. “That’s not our mission.”

“It is now!” He accelerated the ship. “Man our cannon. They won’t even know what hit them.”

Rose cursed under her breath and rushed to towards the cannon in the back of the shuttle. She had a bad feeling about this.

As soon as she had activated the cannon and her headset, they had already entered shooting range. The First Order shuttle accelerated, attempting to reach comm range.

“Oh no, you don’t”, muttered Rose and took aim at the comm transceiver. A few shots later it was out of commission.

The enemy shuttle flew a loop and started to shoot at them with its twin cannon. Wex managed to dodge with a manoeuvre and managed to get behind the shuttle. Rose aimed for the weapon, but when she shot her aim was thrown off by an explosion.

Smoke started to fill the ship and Rose pulled an old rag out of her overalls and covered her nose and her mouth. She coughed and scanned for the enemy.

She saw the shuttle hurling towards the small moon, it seemed that she had hit them pretty good. She activated her headset.

“Wex! What happened?”

He coughed and croaked: “They had some sort of ventral cannon. Bastards!”

“Can we make it back to base?”

He didn’t answer. Rose checked again the position of the enemy shuttle; it was about to enter the atmosphere of the moon, judging from the trail of debris they were about to crash.

She jumped up and ran back into the cockpit. Wex was coughing, thick smoke made it difficult for him to see the blinking displays.

Rose sat down on the co-pilot seat and fastened her seatbelt. She checked the fuel and the controls and felt how all colour drained from her face as she saw the extent of the damage.

The elevon was lagging. It had been hit. The manoeuvrability was close to zero; it would take her at least half an hour to fix this – if she were in a safe hangar with all the necessary tools.

There was no chance that they would make it back. But if they could land she could fix it! She started to reroute the controls though sub-systems.

“What are you doing?” yelled Wex.

“Giving you minimal controls!”

Rose focussed on the task at hand, sweat was running down her face as she worked quickly to give Wex as much manoeuvrability as possible. She had her eyes firmly fixed on the servo sub processors and bypassed the unnecessary system was fast as possible. She didn’t look up when the shuttle started to shake and rumble as it entered the moon’s atmosphere. Just a little more she thought, her eyes peeled on the circuits, even as the heat became unbearable. Just a little mor-


	2. The Crash

She coughed. Something heavy was lying on top of her. She was hot and for a moment she was confused until she remembered what had happened. Her head felt weird. She was dizzy. Slowly she realized that she was under a piece of metal – a part of the cockpit from the look of it.

“Wex?”

No answer. The only sound was the cracking of fire. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel its heat. She wanted to push the large piece away from her, but as soon as she lifted her right arm she screamed in pain. She glanced at her arm. There was no blood visible yet it hurt. She gritted her teeth and managed to lift her knees so that she could push the metal away. With a loud thud it fell on the comm.

“Wex?”

Still no answer. She stumbled on her feet and limped towards the section of the cockpit where the pilot usually was. She had to push cables and debris away, but then she saw Wex. He was slumped over his controls.

“Wex!”

Rose grabbed him by the shoulder with her left hand and pulled him back. His chest was bashed in, blood and gore covering the controls in front of him. She coughed again and threw up.

The cracking of the fire seemed to get louder, the smoke thicker. She had to get out.

She stumbled towards the exit. The emergency hatch was jammed and she howled in frustration when she was unable to move it even by an inch.

She coughed again and pulled a hydrospanner from her utility belt. At first she tried to use her right hand to open the access panel next to the door, but the burning pain that shot through her arm right up to her shoulder made her almost pass out. She put the hydrospanner in her mouth and fiddled the panel with her left hand open.

Her hand trembled and it took her a few torturous long moments to activate the manual override. When the hatch finally opened she laughed and cried at the same time.

She stumbled out of the shuttle and walked a few steps until a coughing fit forced her on her knees. She fell on the grassy ground and saw trees from the corner of her eye. She threw up again and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Rose turned around and saw the shuttle engulfed in dark smoke – or rather what was left of it. A long swath of destruction through the surrounding forest revealed that they had landed a couple of hundred meters ago and slid through the vegetation until all but the cockpit had broken to pieces.

She closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to calm down. Breathe, Rose, breathe. At least she was still alive. She was the best mechanic in the resistance! She could salvage what she needed and build a transmitter!

She opened her eyes again and scanned the burning debris. Then she glanced at her arm. First things first. Carefully she used her wire-cutter to cut her sleeve open. She pressed her lips together as she pulled the fabric away. She was no medic but the unnatural way her bone was bent made it clear that her arm was broken. She gulped. At least it wasn’t an open wound.

She examined her other limbs, despite a swollen ankle she had no other injuries. Her thoughts returned to Wex and she had to blink tears away. A single sob escaped her lips before she could pull herself together. Calm down, she told herself, she had to keep a cool head. Rose looked again at the shuttle. She couldn’t salvage anything as long as the fire was burning. She had to find a place where she could rest. She coughed again, her throat was burning; she had to find water too.

She scanned the environment with her eyes. The trees had leaves, and the rich vegetation around her made it appear that there was no water shortage on this planet. Whether the water was poisonous to her was another question of course.

 

 

She found a river not far from the crash site; cautiously she dipped her hand in it. The water was cold. First, she smelled the water, then she tasted it. It tasted a little like moss. Finally she cupped her left hand and drank.

She sat by the river for a bit and watched the stream, it calmed her a little. When she got up again, her ankle hurt. She checked it again, it seemed more swollen than before. Great.

On her way back to the wreckage she suddenly smelled smoke. It carried a rancid stink with it. Rose stopped dead in her tracks. The new smell came from north-east, but her shuttle was in the south. Was it a settlement? No, the smell reminded her of a short-circuited panel … the First Order shuttle! It had to be near, or at least nearer than she had thought.

Should she check it out? Or should she just ignore it and hope that the crash had taken care of them?

She chewed on her lip. If they were alive she needed to know … but if they were burnt to crisp is was an unnecessary trip that could worsen her ankle’s condition. Damn.

Rose clenched her fist and started to walk in the direction the smell was coming from.

 

 

About twenty minutes later she found the crash site. She hid behind trees as she crawled closer. At first glance it was as badly damaged as her ship. She noticed to her dismay that the daylight had gotten dimmer. Perhaps she should head back, or at least look for a safe place to spend the night.

Just when she was about to leave, she heard a creaking noise. Rose let herself fall on the ground and hissed in pain as her right arm brushed against a tree trunk.

The creaking noise got louder. Something was moving inside the shuttle. After a few minutes of silence the emergency hatch was blown open. Rose ducked and squinted her eyes.

A man in a charcoal uniform stumbled out of the wreck, his face was bloodied and he limped. Rose sucked in her breath, she couldn’t recognize his face at this distance, but the red hair gave his identity away: it was none other than General Hux.

She clenched her fist and narrowed her eyes. Of all the people in the galaxy he had to survive the crash!

Hux seemed to gather his bearings, then he turned on his heel and went back in. Moments later he reappeared, dragging a lifeless body into the open.

He knelt down beside the pilot and opened his jacket. He checked his pulse. After a few seconds he got up and limped back into the shuttle. When he reappeared he had a backpack with him, he limped farther away from the wreckage until he was out of sight.

Rose exhaled. Great! Hux was creeping around in the woods, probably armed and with a backpack full of supplies. Well, at least she knew he was alone, the way he had left the pilot told her that he was dead.

But where was Hux heading? Was there a First Order base somewhere? She rubbed her temple. She had to get a signal as fast as possible out to the resistance. The sun had already set, but Rose decided that she wanted to try to return to her shuttle nonetheless. She crept back until she felt it was safe and stood up. She slowly made her way, the darkness made it difficult to find the path.

Suddenly she tripped over a root and fell. Out of instinct, she tried to reach for something to hold onto, only to scratch her left hand open on something with spikes.

She groaned in frustration and dragged herself back up. She was tired, hungry and thirsty. But she could make it, she could fix this, she told herself.

As soon as she saw the contours of her ship, she leaned against a tree and slid down to the ground. She was completely exhausted. She would rest for a moment, just a short rest … she thought as her eyes fell shut.

 

 

When she woke the sun had already risen. Rays of sunlight broke through the canopy of leaves and shone on the still smouldering shuttle. Her throat felt like a Tattooinian landscape and her stomach rumbled.

Rose decided to check on the long range comm first. At the same time she could check if there were ration bars left. She limped to the shuttle and entered.

The transceiver had been badly damaged. One look at the fried chips told her that she needed to replace them. The chips from the fuel injector in the wings should fit, the question was where they were. So far she hadn’t seen any traces of the wings.

Rose shifted through the debris and found three ration bars, but no water reserves. She devoured one bar and decided to make a trip to the river. After that she could follow the path of destruction to find the fuel injectors.


	3. The Enemy

Rose stepped out of the wreck and froze on the spot when she saw General Hux standing right in front of her, his blaster trained on her. He had a nasty cut on his temple, dried blood covered his face.

“On your knees, rebel scum.”

Rose lifted her hand behind her head and knelt down. Cold sweat ran down her spine.

Hux limped a little closer and narrowed his eyes. “I know you – you‘re the rebel who was with that traitor. You tried to sabotage the hyperspace tracker.”

She remained silent, staring defiantly at him.

“Is the traitor in there?” sneered Hux. “He‘s dead isn‘t he?”

“Finn is alive and well,” retorted Rose. “And that’s more than you can say about Phasma.”

Hux twisted his lips in anger. “Get up, I want to see him myself.”

Rose slowly rose to her feet; she eyed Hux. He kept his distance, she had to wait for him to make a mistake before she could try to grab his blaster.

They entered the cockpit, Hux grimaced when he saw that the pilot wasn‘t Finn. Suddenly he seemed exhausted, he leaned against the co-pilot seat and wiped over his face.

“What were you doing in here?”

“What do you think, Hux? I checked the long-range transmitter,” she snapped.

Hux glanced at the console. “It‘s obviously burnt out. You can‘t possibly-”

“Of course I can! You don‘t-”

Hux lifted his blaster and Rose fell silent. “Don‘t interrupt me!”

She glared at him with disdain.

He made an effort to straighten himself. “Are you a technician?”

Rose thought about keeping her mouth shut, but what was the point? There was no need to agitate a mass murderer with a gun.

“Mechanic. But I know quite a lot about all the other stuff as well.” She took note that Hux exhaled. He seemed to be relieved. Did that mean that his comm systems were offline too?

“You will accompany me to my shuttle. And you will fix the long range comm,” he said in a tight voice. “And if you don‘t comply I‘ll shoot you.”

“If you shoot me you‘re stuck here.”

He was obviously taken aback by her backtalk. He frowned. “Shut up and do as I say.“

 

 

They exited the shuttle. Hux pointed towards the location of his shuttle. “This way and don‘t try anything.”

Rose‘s throat still felt parched. “Mind if we take a detour to the river? I need to drink something first.”

Hux frowned again. “Is it far?”

“Perhaps two kilometres?”

Hux seemed to think a moment, then he said: “Lead the way.”

 

 

Sweat was running down her temples while she slowly walked through the forest. After about ten minutes Hux called: “Stop.”

She turned and saw him leaning against a tree. He was paler than usual, his rubbed his leg with his left while aiming his blaster at her. So his leg was injured? That could be useful when she wanted to get away from him.

After a few moments he gestured her to continue.

 

 

When they finally arrived at the river Rose immediately crouched down and used her hollow hand to drink. She also splatted water in her face and put her now cool left hand on her neck.

He heard Hux groan and saw him lower himself on the ground a few metres away from her. The laborious way he moved told her that he was in pain. He clenched the fabric of his trousers as he sat down.

He glanced at her when he reached into his backpack and pulled a canteen out of it. He used his teeth to pull the leather glove from his left hand, then he submerged the canteen to fill it.

Rose looked away and drank some more water.

 

 

About one hour later they arrived at the First Order shuttle. Hux ushered her into the cockpit.

Rose felt a twinge of jealousy when she saw the slick tech. No spare parts reused, no overclocked old relays and no repurposed memory chips.

She glanced over her shoulder, Hux stood right behind her and watched her closely. She had no intention to fix his long range com. She had no idea how much Hux knew about this tech; not much judging from the fact that he forced an enemy to take a look at it. But she had to be careful, he might had some understanding and would notice if she actively sabotaged the com.

“What are you waiting for? Get to it!” he hissed.

Rose turned and pried the damaged console off the com. It was pretty much clear from the first look that an overload had fried the isolinear chips. She didn‘t even had to feign a problem, it was pretty much the same problem she had with her own ship: she could fix it of course, but she needed new chips.

She turned to face Hux. “The chips are fried, do you have other systems with GB-converted isolinear chips?”

He chewed on his lower lip, and seemed to search her face for a cue that she was lying. The slight flush on his cheeks indicated that he was uncomfortable. “We replaced the GB-converted parts with the newer GC parts a couple of weeks ago.”

Rose rubbed her left hand on the rough fabric of her overall trousers; so he had tested her. He had probably checked the systems himself and had come to the same conclusion as her: his long range systems were beyond repairs without new chips.

“What kind of chips are in your shuttle?” Hux asked in a quiet voice.

He had seen the older tech in her shuttle; he wouldn‘t have dragged her here if he was certain whether if it was compatible.

She could of course try to refit the chips, tweak them a little. But Hux didn‘t need to know that.

“Why do you even ask? Our chips are outdated, you saw our gear.” She licked her lips. “I could try to repair our long range comm however.”

He scoffed. “And why would in the galaxy would I allow that? I‘m not exactly keen on resistance hospitality.”

“What else is there? Do you want to die here?”

Hux suddenly seemed very tried. He looked at the comm again. “We‘ll wait. Perhaps our last signal got through.”

 

 

They sat down outside the shuttle, staring coldly at each other. After a few hours the pilot‘s body was surrounded by insects, the buzzing sound made her ill. Hux on the other hand looked unimpressed.

Rose rolled her sleeve back and inspected her broken arm. It was swollen, the lump made it look … wrong.

Rose decided to make a splint. A few metres on her left she spotted a suitable branch, so she slowly got up. Hux eyed her but didn’t say anything.

She sat down by the branch and began the laborious process of snapping it in two with only one hand. Finally she used her legs as a lever and succeeded. She pulled an oily rag from one of her pockets and tried to wrap it around her right arm. After a couple of attempts she managed to tie a knot. She sighed when she checked it; it was a sorry excuse for a splint.

Rose leaned back against a tree and exhaled. She had to try again later.

After that she checked her leg. The ankle was still swollen. She had no idea what that meant. Was it only twisted a little? Should she try to splint it up as well?

Her thoughts were derailed by a rustling sound from the coppice. She jerked her head up and registered from the corner of her eye that Hux aimed his blaster towards the sound. Suddenly something jumped out of the bushes and speeded towards her. All Rose could see was a dark shadow. A blaster shot rang out and the creature stumbled and fell on the ground. A roar was heard and Rose heard Hux scream. A second creature had lunged at Hux and was standing over him. He wasn‘t holding his blaster anymore – had he dropped it?

Rose stumbled on her feet, grabbed a branch next to her and ran towards the beast. Just when she was about to hit the feline creature she spotted the blaster lying on the ground. She dropped the branch and picked the gun up.

Her hand trembled when she shot; it took her five blasts to take the creature down.

Hux pushed it away and stared wide-eyed at Rose. He pressed a hand against his chest, he groaned and coughed. Rose trained the blaster on Hux, she instinctively took a step closer when he turned on his side and coughed again.

Before she could analyse the situation, Hux spun around and grabbed her left foot and pulled with all his might. Rose was jerked backwards and lost her balance. She fell hard on the ground and was about to raise the blaster when Hux appeared above her and pressed her down with his weight. She felt something cool and metallic against her skin – without doubt a blade of some sort.

She gulped and loosened her grip on the blaster. Hux smirked and quickly grabbed the gun, then slowly pulled back. He had a small dagger in his left hand. He coughed again before crawling further away from her.

Rose gritted her teeth as she felt a dull pain in her right arm, she grabbed it and squeezed her eyes shut. She had almost done it, she even had the blaster! Why had she closed in on Hux? Damn it!

She opened her eyes again and glanced at Hux, he was inspecting his chest – it seemed that he was indeed hurt.

Stupid! She could’ve just waited for the creature to take care of him!

After a few moments she finally sat up, still holding her arm. She checked the splint – it had already come off. Rose was so angry that she felt tears forming in her eyes. She quickly blinked them away.

She turned away from Hux and tried to calm down. After a few deep breaths she stopped trembling and tried to splint up her arm again.


	4. The Plan

When the sun set they retreated into the shuttle or rather what was left of it. It wasn’t exactly safe but at least it would be harder for feral beasts to sneak up on them.

After a couple of hours of staring at each other Rose started to get slightly sick, only then she realised that she hadn’t eaten all day.

“I’m just getting a ration bar,” she said when she slid her hand into one of her pockets. Hux sat up a little straighter and followed her every movement with his eyes.

Rose had to use her teeth to pry the wrapping open, finally she took a bite and chewed slowly. The taste was bland, the bar itself was sticky and stringy.

After she had eaten it, she wasn’t hungry anymore, but her throat was once more parched. As if on cue he pulled his canteen out of the backpack and took a gulp.

She leaned back and closed her eyes, perhaps she could sleep for a bit and forget about her thirst. But it proved difficult to relax while feeling Hux’ stare on her. She shifted from right to left and back. Then she gave up. Luckily it was quite dim in the cockpit already and she could only see his contours.

He touched his chest, for a moment he wasn’t looking at her. He yawed and wiped across his face. He had to guard her all night long, and would be tired in the morning. Perhaps she could try to steal the blaster from him?

A low growl rang out and Hux pressed his left hand on his stomach. He reached again for the canteen.

Rose twisted her mouth, he had seen her eating the ration bar. But he probably felt that it was below him to eat resistance ration bars. She gulped, her mouth was completely dry.

“Care for a trade?” she asked and pulled another ration bar out of her pocket and pointed it towards the canteen.

After a few seconds he nodded. He kept her at gunpoint and handed her the water. She handed him the bar.

Rose wiped the bottle opening with her sleeve and took a big gulp. The water was warm, but it was still a relief. She drank a little more and when she put the canteen down, she noticed that Hux had already wolfed down the bar.

She screwed the canteen shut and handed it back. She settled again against the wall and softly touched her right arm.

 

 

A loud crow woke her up. Judging from the way Hux jerked up, too, she knew that he had fallen asleep. Damn, she had missed the opportunity. Wings flapped and the crowing stopped.

It was bright outside. Hux checked something on his wrist, presumably his wrist holo. He frowned.

“I could still try to fix my long range comm,” said Rose. “Or do you still think your rescue party is only running a little late?”

Hux rubbed his temple; he looked even paler than the day before.

“We have to get some water anyway. We might as well check if there are any traces of the wings.”

“Wings? What are you going on about?”

“I can use the fuel injector chips to replace the fried ones in the comm panel. The debris should be somewhere.”

“How do you even know that they aren’t burnt out?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, okay. But what else is there? Either we wait until we get eaten by the local wildlife or we do something.”

He frowned, visibly uneasy. “If this is some trick …”

She didn’t deign to answer. She just crossed her arms and stared at him.

“Lead the way,” he finally said.

 

 

Back at the river they refilled the canteen. Rose washed her face and her hands. After that she used the rest to try again to splint her arm up. She cursed under her breath when the splint slipped again.

She exhaled and registered from the corner of her eyes that Hux was checking his chest again. Suddenly he looked up and their eyes met.

He opened his mouth but then he closed it without saying anything. Rose averted her gaze, focussing again on her arm.

“You-“ he quietly said.

She looked back at Hux, he seemed angry.

He pointed his blaster towards her. “Build a fire and use the canteen to- to cook water. I need to clean my wounds.”

“I have a broken arm in case you haven’t noticed!” she snapped. “And my ankle isn’t in great shape either. How about you do it yourself!”

“Just do as I say!” he yelled.

She got up and started to collect branches. After a while she had enough to start a fire. Hux pulled an electro lighter from his backpack and threw it in front of her.

She shot him a withering glare before she picked it up and ignited the fire with it. Shortly after she put the canteen with the water in the fire until it started to boil.

“Bring the water here,” ordered Hux.

She grabbed the canteen by the isolated handle and brought it over. She set it down in front of Hux and returned to her spot.

Hux pulled a piece of black cloth out of his backpack and dipped it in the water. He struggled to clean the cut on his temple, the previously dried blood liquefied and ran down his face. He was visibly confused at the amount of blood that was seemingly flowing down.

Rose looked down on her arm and exhaled. It was senseless to try it again. But she had to do something.

He cleared his throat. “P-perhaps we can make a deal?”

Rose blinked in surprise. “What kind of deal?”

“Well, I’ll help you if you help me. With the injuries I mean.”

She wasn’t exactly excited to get touched by him, but he was right. It made sense.

“You could’ve said something before I limped back here,” she quipped and got up. “Splint my arm first, then it’s easier for me to patch your pasty face up.”

“If-“

“Yeah, yeah, no tricks blah, blah.”

She sat down next to him and held her right arm out. He eyed her suspiciously before he put his blaster down beside him – of course still within reach.

Rose noticed with mild surprise that he was quite efficient and careful about it. Within a minute her arm was splinted firmly.

He holstered his blaster and let his blade slide out of his left sleeve into his hand. She took the piece of cloth and dunked it in the hot water. After a short moment of hesitation she leaned forward and started to clean his face. As soon as the dried blood was wiped away she patted the cut until it was clean.

“Got a bandage?”

He handed her a med kit and she found a plaster she put on.

“Check my chest, too, I can’t get a good look at it,” he said and pulled his jacket and his shirt down so that she could have a look at the injury on his upper torso.

She cleaned the wound and saw that it was a rather deep scratch. The skin around it was red and swollen.

“It’s inflamed.”

“There should be a disinfectant in the med kit,” he said. He looked queasy.

Rose checked the kit. “Nothing, just bandages, a few bandages and some pills.”

He eyed her with suspicion and glanced at the med kit. After a few moments he scoffed. “My luck of course.”

“Well, I’ll just clean it as good as possible and put a plaster on it,” said Rose.

He didn’t reply and she proceeded to wipe the wound clean. After she had patched him up she leaned back and checked her splint again. It was still firmly around her arm.

“Back off,” said Hux with a huff.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Rose pulled the last ration bar out of her pocket and took a bite while she shuffled back to her place. She stared at the bar in her hand. She would most likely run out of food before they even found the wings. She wrapped the bar back up and put it back in her pocket.

The sound of rustling clothes made her turn her head towards Hux again. He had pulled his trousers down and inspected a large bruise on his right thigh. It seemed more black than purple against his pale skin.

He noticed that she looked at him. “Mind you own damn business!”

Judging from the blush on his cheeks he was embarrassed. Rose just shrugged and turned her gaze towards the river. The water was clear; there were no fish visible.


	5. The Clearing

Shortly after, they reached the shuttle and started to walk along the swath of destruction. Soon they had found the first wing – it was burnt out.

Then they came across a large clearing. On the distant side, they spotted large animals. Rose and Hux let themselves quickly fall. She hissed in pain when her right arm hit the ground.

After a few moments she cautiously lifted her head and looked closer at the animals: They looked like nerfs, but their horns were bigger and their fur was green instead of brown. They were eating plants; Rose didn’t see any calves.

“Nerfs. I guess they’re herbivores,” she whispered.

“Nerfs?” Hux lifted his head above the high grass.

“What? Have you never seen a nerf?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he hissed.

Rose just scoffed.

Slowly they got back on their feet and walked quietly across the clearing. One of the jungle nerfs watched them while chewing grass, but it didn’t move, only its ears twitched nervously. Rose exhaled when they reached the tree line.

“We’ll rest here,” said Hux and sat down with a pained expression on his face.

She noticed that he looked sick, and his eyes were glassy. The infection was starting to take its toll. She had to stay alert to seize the opportunity when it presented itself – it was only a question of time until he would slip up. She would grab the blaster and force him to-

Come to think of it, what would she do if she had the blaster? She would have to guard him as he guarded her until she fell asleep, until he could wrestle the gun away from her.

Rose sat down across from Hux and pulled at a few blades of grass. She started to play with them.

She glanced again at the man in front of her. She didn’t like that he was in control. This was the man who had destroyed the Hosnian system; he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her too. She remembered the speeches she had seen from him, full of spittle and venom. A madman. Yet he seemed surprisingly sane. On the Supremacy he had been cool-headed and calm. A killer nonetheless, but if he wanted to kill her he would’ve done that already without as much a blink. He needed her and he knew it.

They were already doing what she was planning on doing anyway – call for help with a resistance comm. There was no way that he could fix his own comm without her … in a way she was in control of the situation …

She pulled so hard at the blades of grass that they ripped. She scrunched them up and threw them away. He could still shoot her on a whim. Kylo Ren certainly would from what she had heard.

Rose picked up another fistful of grass and shot Hux a glare. His hands were slightly trembling when he took a gulp of water. When he noticed her watching him he quickly rearranged the pained expression on his face in a neutral one.

She pulled more grass from the ground. Even in front of her he wanted to appear calm, in control and superior. This wasn’t a man who acted on impulses or on whims. He hadn’t killed billions of people in a fit of rage. He had done it because it suited his plans. He was cold, calculating and distrustful.

She lowered her gaze and attempted to braid the grass while contemplating her options. If she managed to fix her comm the resistance would show up and rescue her – and capture Hux. All she had to do was to reason with him until help arrived.

Her thoughts returned to Finn, for a brief moment she imagined how he would arrive with a ship, he would storm down the ramp and hug her with all his might. Perhaps Poe and Rey would accompany him? They would be impressed how she had managed to fool Hux into calling for help …

She reached into her overalls and pulled her medallion out. She traced its shape with her fingertips. She could make it, she could fix this mess. Rose put the pendant back in her overalls and turned her gaze again to Hux.

First things first, she thought with a sigh.

“I need to go … somewhere,” she said.

He frowned. “What?”

“I need to pee. I’ll just go over there.”

He didn’t say anything; Rose turned and limped out of sight.

 

 

After the break they finally reached the beginning of the swath. Rose looked around – where in the galaxy was the missing wing?

After a few moments she looked up into the tree and cursed under her breath: the wing was stuck in the dense canopy, metal was twisted in a giant tree – it was about ten metres above ground. It was difficult to see due to the foliage but it seemed that it wasn’t burnt out. She circled the tree, there was no easy way to get up there.

“Well, this sucks.” She mumbled and expected to hear Hux sneer, but he was eerily silent. She turned and saw that he looked even more miserable than before, he could barely keep standing. He leaned against a nearby tree and wiped across his mouth.

“W-we’ll rest here for a couple of minutes,” he quietly said, barely holding his eyes open.

“Okay. You look like shit, you know that right?”

“Shut up!”

Rose shrugged and pulled her ration bar out of her pocket, she took another bite and watched Hux trying to stay awake, slowly sliding down a tree. After a couple of minutes his strength left him and he fell unconscious, leaning against the tree.

Rose waited and when she was certain that he was out, she slowly limped closer and took the blaster out of his hand. He mumbled something when she inspected his left arm and found the hidden blade.

Well, that was easier than she thought. At least she could defend herself if predators attacked her. She circled the tree again. Even thinking about climbing up made her right arm ache. There was no way she could get up there with a broken arm.

She went back to Hux and after a moment of hesitation she put her hand on his forehead. He was burning up. He wouldn’t climb up that tree anytime soon, he was useless like this.

Rose checked his backpack, to her disappointment there wasn’t a rope or something similar. She took the canteen and drank some water; there wasn’t much left.

She put the backpack on and started to walk in the direction of the clearing. She would probably make it back to the river before sunset, then she could spend the night in the wreckage and- Rose stopped.

Damn it, she couldn’t just leave him. She turned around and returned. Hux still sat in the exact same position, he hadn’t moved. She stepped next to him and kicked him softly.

“Hey Hux! Get up! We’ve got to go back.”

His eyes fluttered open and he stared at her in confusion, but after mere moments he was gone again.

Rose chewed her lower lip. She sat down next to him and grabbed his shoulder, it felt surprisingly bony.

“Wake up! We need to move!”

Nothing. She groaned in frustration. What now? She should head back to the river to replenish the water, and she should find something edible. Either way she had to leave Hux here … perhaps she could build a shelter? There were branches lying on the ground, ripped off when the shuttle crashed.

“You’re lucky that Paige isn’t here,” she said as she got up. “She wouldn’t think twice about leaving your sorry ass behind.”

 

 

Rose’s left hand and arm ached when she had finally finished dragging thick branches and had stacked them against the tree Hux had collapsed in front of. The newly formed bell tent was admittedly pathetic but at least Hux wasn’t in the open anymore.

She crawled through the small opening and checked his pulse at his neck. Of course he was still alive. She wiped her hand on her trousers. “I’ll go to get something to eat and drink. Or least I’ll try.”

She crawled back out and started to march towards the clearing once again. The jungle nerfs were still there.

She slowly walked closer, the blaster in her hand. But the animals just eyed her and continued eating grass. When Rose was closer she noticed that they were also eating red berries growing on a bush. She gathered a handful and stared at them. With her luck, they were poisonous.

Well, only one way to test it. She took one in her mouth and started to chew. They tasted surprisingly bland, only with a slightly sweet aftertaste.

She put the rest of the berries in one of her pockets and decided to observe the nerfs a little longer. Besides the berries and the grass some of them were eating moss off the trees. A couple of them retreated further back in the forest, Rose followed them for a while until she stood in front of a small runnel. The water looked clear – perhaps it was even a branch of the river back at her shuttle?

The nerfs drank from the runnel. She followed it for a few hundred metres until it disappeared under a rock formation. She refilled the canteen and took a gulp; the taste was the same.

 

 

Rose stayed close to the nerfs. She suspected they would detect a predator faster than she would. She looked for other edible looking plants, but only the red berries seemed like something a human could eat.

When she finally returned to Hux, dawn had already broken. He lay on his side and was apparently sleeping. She turned him on his back and checked the wound on his chest. Perhaps she should clean it again?

She collected a couple of logs and after a couple of tries she managed to start a fire and boil the water.

When she was about to clean the cut on Hux head his eye’s snapped open. He blinked a few times. He seemed confused.

“I’ll just clean your cuts, alright?” said Rose.

His eyes slid shut again and relaxed. Perhaps it was the dim light from the fire and the shadows but he suddenly looked a lot younger than he probably was. She cleaned the cut and put a new plaster on it; at least that cut wasn’t inflamed.

It took her a while to open his jacket with only one arm, she noticed that his chest was gaunt and pale, paler even than his face. She carefully removed the bandage and grimaced as she saw the injury, when she cleaned it she noticed pus.

“I read somewhere that pus means that the body is fighting an infection, so I guess it’s not bad,” she said and patched him up again.

She felt his forehead. He still had fever.

Rose crawled out of the shelter and sat by the fire. She checked her splint. It was still pretty firm but it had come loose a bit. Back on Hays Minor broken bones were quite common, if not from the hard work in the mines, then from the First Order thugs who had taken control of the mining colony. She knew that it would take about four weeks until she could properly use the arm again.

She picked up a small branch and stroked the fire.

Rose wondered what Finn and Poe were doing now. They would look for her, there was no doubt about it; the resistance was probably looking for Wex and her right now … as would the First Order be looking for Hux.

It was disquieting that neither had shown up so far. That had to mean that they looked in the wrong places or rather, the wrong planets. She had to blink tears away. She shouldn’t have taken this mission. It had been stupid. Now she was alone, stranded on some backwater planet. Some hero she turned out to be.

She sniffed. Well, not completely alone to be exact, but a First Order General didn’t exactly qualify as good company.

Rose clenched her hand around her medallion. She had to pull herself together. There was still a chance that she could fix this. She could do it, she had to.

When the fire had died down she yawned and crawled back into the shelter and lay down as far away possible from Hux. Within minutes she fell asleep.


	6. The Truce

She dreamed about Finn. They were on Canto Bight, in the middle of the casino. Suddenly she couldn’t find him anymore; panicked, she started to call out. With a jerk she woke up. She wiped across her face and exhaled.

Then she rolled over to face Hux. He was still sleeping. His usually neatly slicked back hair had fallen in strands over his face. Again it was perplexing how young he looked without the constant angry glare.

She sat up. Sleepily, she reached for the canteen and drank. Then she glanced again at Hux. He had to be dehydrated; she scooted over and patted his cheek.

“Hey, wake up. You have to drink something.”

He groaned and finally opened his eyes. At least he seemed to recognize her, he frowned.

“What-“

“You need to drink something.” She shoved the canteen in his hands.

He slowly took a few sips. Then he reached for his chest and winced when his fingertips touched the injury.

Rose realised that he was about to discover that she had disarmed him. She scooted back into safe distance and waited.

His hand wandered from his chest to his empty holster, he went rigid when realised that his blaster was gone. Whatever colour had been left in his face disappeared and he gritted his teeth as he stared at her.

“Yeah, I got your blaster – and your knife, too. I figured you wouldn’t need them while being passed out.”

“Gloat all you like, rebel scum! Get on with it and kill me already!”

“Shut it, do you really think I would go through all this trouble to build this silly shelter if I wanted to shoot you first thing in the morning?”

His frown deepened, then he took a look around and exhaled. “You need me,” he said slowly.

“Well, I didn’t stick around because you’re good company.” She pulled what was left of her ration bar out of her pocket and threw it to Hux.

She fully expected him to refuse the bar out of arrogance, but to her surprise he didn’t even snare at her before he picked it up and started to chew.

“I found a runlet not far from here. We don’t have to walk all the way back to get fresh water. But I wasn’t as lucky with food.” She showed him the berries she had gathered.

“They could be poisonous.”

“I know, I ate one yesterday and so far I feel fine.” She popped three berries in her mouth. “Let’s see how I’m doing in a couple of hours.”

His eyebrow rose. He was clearly questioning her judgement.

“What? Got a better idea to check whether we can eat this stuff?” she snapped.

He just continued to eat.

“You still have fever – I guess it’s going to take another day before you can even think about climbing that tree,” Rose mused loudly.

“Climb a tree?” Hux said disbelievingly.

“Don’t you remember? The fuel injector chips are in the wing up in the tree. One of us has to climb up there to get them.”

He blushed a little and snorted. “W-why don’t you do it?”

“With a broken arm? Don’t be stupid. You have to go or we’ll rot on this planet.”

He turned his mouth down. After a while he said. “Physical training wasn’t- is not exactly my forte.”

“Welcome to the club,” scoffed Rose.

They sat in silence. Hux ate the bar and seemed calm. Rose checked her splint again, perhaps it would be wise to clean the rag and the skin beneath it? It was covered in mud from the runlet.

There was no way around it, she had to work with Hux to get back. She licked her lips and said: “I changed your bandages and cleaned your wounds. It’s only fair that you help me too.” She sighed and grabbed the blaster. Hux immediately tensed up, his eyes went wide when she handed him the weapon. He quickly grabbed it and checked it.

“I’m not a good shooter. But I’ll keep the knife – it could be handy when I’m scouring the area to find food. How are you- do you still have fever?”

Hux shifted uncomfortably, he still held the blaster but wasn’t pointing it at anything. He eyed her again, then he felt up his forehead.

“I think so.”

“Do you want to rest while I go scouting?”

The tips of his ears turned red. “No! No, I’m fine.”

She didn’t believe him. He still looked tired. But she couldn’t concern herself with his whims. “Okay, then you can focus on climbing the tree. The faster we get the chips the faster we can call for help.”

Hux looked indeed ill, chewing on his bottom lip as if in deep though.

Rose stretched out her right arm, after a moment Hux holstered the blaster and came closer. He was surprisingly gentle when he opened the knots.

After Rose had washed the rag in the hot water she hung it from a branch and circled the tree again. The nearest branch that could support her weight was about two metres above ground – way out of her reach. After a while Hux joined her.

Only now she noticed that he was quite a bit taller than she was. She was about two heads smaller than he. Rose took a few steps back, so he would be able to get on the first branch and then … the next few branches were much farther up. They would need a rope or some other tool to reach the crown.

He ran his hand through his hair in a vain attempt to slick it back. Only now she noticed that he had buttoned his uniform jacket back up. What a douche.

“We need rope,” he said so quietly that he almost didn’t sound like him.

“Perhaps I could make climb spurs from the debris, or a hook.”

“First we need to find something edible.”

Rose went over to the rag hanging from a branch and felt it – it was almost dry. “We could gather more berries and check dead wood for larvae – if they’re not poisonous we could roast them over the fire. Good for proteins.”

Hux sneered. “Larvae? Really?”

“Not everybody is born with a silver spoon in their mouth,” replied Rose a little louder than she had intended. “And after the First Order had raided-“ she stopped talking. Hux was only trying to get under her skin, there was no point in replying to his taunts.

“I see, you’re from some forgotten Outer Rim colony aren’t you? And when we seized your planet you ran away – joined some ragtag resistance instead of-“

Rose turned on her heel and hissed: “You are so smart, aren’t you? You have me figured out, catalogued me, put me in a neat drawer, filed me away. And now you think you can run some petty power play with me so that you feel great about yourself. You’re nothing more than a bully, an empty uniform who thrives on the misery of others.”

Hux frowned. “I’m not-“

“I’m not interested to discuss politics with a mass murderer. I’ll go look for larvae, you can go – elsewhere.” She grabbed the still damp rag and briskly walked over and shoved it in his hands. “Do you damn job and leave me in peace.”

She expected a biting retort, but Hux just grimaced and fixed her splint. She ripped off a rather large leave of a plant nearby and folded it into a cone. Then she stalked off.

She could hear Hux called after her about the location of the berries, but she didn’t care. It was childish, but she felt good, powerful even when she left him behind.

 

 

In the late afternoon she had filled the cone with fat white wriggling larvae she had found in tree stumps. She had also found a piece of the shuttle, a thin alloy plating that would easily be bent into some sort of cooking pot. Just when she was about to head back to the camp she noticed another rotten log.

Rose set down the plating and the cone and wanted to turn the log over when she heard an angry hiss. She froze and scanned the area with her eyes. From under the she saw a large brown reptile slither its way towards her. Rose remained still for what felt like an eternity, finally the snake-like creature turned its head towards the cone with the larvae.

Slowly, very slowly Rose reached for the knife in her pocket and just when the reptile was about to slither out of her reach, she grabbed it by the head with her left hand and cut its head off with her right. The sharp pain that followed from her broken arm made her groan and for a moment she thought she would pass out.

She let herself fall on the ground and panted. After catching her breath, she skinned the reptile and gutted it. It was a surprising long animal. She had to curl the body to carry it.


	7. The Rank

Hux sat beside the fireplace. He was empting his pockets and making small piles of fabric, metal pieces and berries. He looked feverish and pale.

Rose didn’t talk to him, she just set down her spoils and noticed with satisfaction the somewhat shocked and awed expression on his face when he saw how much she had gathered. Hux eyed the snake but of course he didn’t ask.

She bent the plate into a pot-like shape, which was laborious with only one good arm. She didn’t ask for his help and he didn’t offer it.

When she was finally done she noticed that Hux had also gathered stones and had put them around the fireplace. She rearranged the stones until she could put the pot on them, then she left to gather fire wood.

About an hour later she had roasted the larvae. She picked one out of the still hot pot and blew on it before she took a bite. It didn’t taste like much, she studied the larva for a moment before she put it completely in her mouth.

She reached into the pot and took another one. She thought about the possibility that they were poisonous but then she dismissed her worries – she was hungry and there wasn’t any other food available than this or the reptile meat. She simply couldn’t afford to be cautious.

Hux observed her, just when she thought he was too stubborn to eat larvae, he scooted closer and reached into the pot. At first he only nibbled but after a while his hunger seemed to win out and they both ate in silence until the pot was empty.

Rose filled the pot with water and put it again on the fire. Then she used the knife to cut the snake into small bits that she put in the water. After a while she checked the meat, when it seemed like it was well done she fished a small bit out of the water and bit in it. It tasted surprisingly salty, it reminded her of chicken.

“It could use Shiso Leaf, but at least it has a little more taste than the larvae,” she said.

Hux lifted the pot from the fire and put it between them. “I’m not familiar with Shiso Leaf.”

“It has a musky, earthy taste and goes well with soups and fresh rolls.” Rose sharpened two twigs with the dagger and handed Hux one of them.

They sat across from each other and ate out of the pot. The sun was setting, and the warm light painted everything orange. For the first time in days Rose wasn’t hungry or thirsty anymore. She felt good for a change – apart from the dull pain in her right arm.

She leaned back and watched Hux fish for the last pieces of meat. He still looked sick but at least he ate well. If his fever broke they could start trying to get up that tree. It perplexed her again how young he looked when he didn’t frown, especially now when the light accentuated his red hair and his stubble.

“How old are you?” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

He set his mouth in a thin line. “Why do you care?”

She rolled her eyes. Why was she even talking to this guy? Rose picked up a forked twig and started to whittle it. She thought about the next day. They could eat berries in the morning … she had to find more larvae … then she could return to the shuttle and check if there was a rope or at least some cables they could use …

“I’m 34.”

She lost her train of thought and turned her attention back on Hux. He was still chewing. He glared at her as if she had insulted him somehow.

One of her eyebrows rose. “I’ve never heard of a general that young.”

He gave her a smug grin and drew breath – no doubt to make a speech at her about the many virtues of the First Order. But then she saw a strange twitch in the corner of his mouth and his expression darkened. “It’s not uncommon in the First Order,” he just said and put the rest of the meat in his mouth.

After a few moments he asked: “How old are you?”

“26.”

Silence stretched out between them.

“And what’s your name?”

“Rose Tico.” She waited for him to continue, curious why he suddenly took an interest in her.

“What’s your rank?”

She finished whittling the twig; it resembled a simple fork now. “I’m a specialist. Why are you interested in my rank?”

“I wanted to know how to address you correctly, Specialist Tico.”

“Why is that important? I mean we’re at the arse end of nowhere.”

He frowned. “So that I know how to talk to you of course – how to address you.”

Rose had another why on the tip of her tongue, but she decided that she wouldn’t get a straight answer out of him anyway and shallowed the question.

He cleared his throat. “We should stock up our food supply and one of us should return to the shuttles to salvage-“

“-cables, yeah I thought so, too.”

“Don’t interrupt me, _specialist_!”

Rose laughed. “You’re pulling rank on me? Really?”

He blushed and snarled: “I shouldn’t be surprised that you wouldn’t know common decency. No respect and no order whatsoever!”

She just laughed again and took a twig to whittle another fork. “Yeah, yeah we’re real animals, you tell me, Hux.”

He sat there visibly angry and frustrated. He chewed on his lower lip and ran his hand through his hair. When the wisps of hair fell again in his face he grimaced and got up and limped out of the camp.

Rose looked after him, she wouldn’t put it past him to sulk somewhere in the dark. What a strange guy.

After a couple of minutes he returned and was about to crawl into the shelter.

“Don’t you want me to take a look at your cuts?” she asked.

He looked over his shoulder. With a huff he walked over to her and sat down. She checked the cut on his head first. It was healing just fine. He opened the topmost buttons of his jacket to show her the inflamed wound.

“It’s still red and swollen. I can clean it tomorrow. We still have enough water, right?”

He carefully closed the buttons again. “Do you want me to check your splint?”

Rose took a look at it; it seemed fine. “Perhaps tomorrow. It came loose last night.”

He nodded and vanished into the shelter.

 

 

After a bit of bickering they decided in the morning that they would both go the crash site and look for food after that.

They reached Rose’s shuttle first. The smell of decay and rot was overwhelming even outside. Rose felt a lump in her stomach – she had left Wex, hadn’t buried him. What had she been thinking?

Hux on the other hand seemed completely unfazed by the stink. He entered the cockpit without hesitation and started to rummaging around. After a while he peeked out of the door.

“Do you intend to let me do all the work?”

She gulped and walked over. The moment she stepped in, she looked straight at the helm and saw insects crawling around. The buzzing and the rancid smell overwhelmed her and she barely made it out before she puked.

She wiped over her mouth and noticed that Hux stood next to her, eyeing her with a cool gaze.

“I can’t. I should’ve buried him,” she said.

He crossed his arms. “I’m not surprised that your training didn’t cover basic desensitisation.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You mean to tell me that you don’t have desensitisation training in the resistance at all?”

She shook her head.

He didn’t say anything. He just stepped back in and continued to look for salvageable components.

 

 

The decomposing bodies of the predators and the First Order pilot didn’t do anything to calm down Rose’s stomach. She decided to track back a bit and look for equipment in the parts that were farther away.

After some time Hux joined her. His backpack was full of cables and metal pieces. He didn’t look too good, either.

They didn’t talk when they made their way back to their camp. After dumping their spoils they went on to look for berries.

The nerfs had wandered away. A clearly visible trail led into the forest.

“We should follow them,” said Hux.

“Why?”

He exhaled. “So that we see where they went.”

“Yeah, but what’s the point?”

“Do you have to question everything?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “By the stars! Let’s go already if it shuts you up.”


	8. The Rain

On their way they checked dead wood for larvae. Hux used these little breaks to sit down, he was obviously exhausted.

“You can go back to the camp if you want,” she said. “I can go on alone.”

“I’m fine.”

She put a larva in her cone and briskly walked over to him. He flinched a little when she put a hand on his forehead, he was of course still hot. “You still have fever, you should take it easy.”

He scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, specialist. I’m not some weak-willed cadet who can’t handle a little adversity.”

“Suit yourself, though, man.”

He shot her an angry glare. After a while they continued their march. Hux held the cone with the larva so that Rose could rest her left arm.

“Where did you find the snake?” he asked.

“Under a log, I was lucky though. It was about to bite me but I somehow managed to cut its head off first. It tasted good, didn’t it? Almost worth dying an agonizing slow death.”

“Ah, I suppose you received high marks in survival class?”

Rose stopped at a bush and checked its dark blue berries. “Survival class? What’s that supposed to be?”

“Didn’t you go to school?”

Rose collected a few berries and put it in one of her pockets. She turned to face him. “Of course I went so school! I mean we were poor as dirt but all the children in the colony got an education. Wait … There were survival classes at your school?”

Hux shrugged. “Of course.”

“Isn’t that stuff for the military academy?”

He looked at her blankly. “What’s the difference?”

“Huh, you were with the First Order from the start. No wonder …” She continued to follow the track. “How old were you when you first attended these survival classes?”

He remained so long quiet that Rose thought that he hadn’t heard her question. Finally he said: “I was 6.”

“You guys are insane, sending children that young into survival classes – why am I even surprised,” she muttered more to herself.

“Usually the survival classes start when the cadets are 8 years old, but my father wanted to give me a head start so he ordered them to take me on earlier.”

Rose stopped again and turned to face him. “Wait – you’ve been taking survival classes since you were 6 years old; why the kriff are you so useless out here? Shouldn’t you be able to build a star destroyer out of a leaf and a twig by now?”

She fully expected him to get angry and shout at her, but a series of emotions just flashed across his face – too fast to make them out – and he brushed past her.

She followed him. “Well?”

He mumbled something unintelligible.

“What?”

Finally he stopped and turned on his heel. “Because I was rubbish at it! Because I-“ he interrupted himself and visibly forced himself to calm down. “It was a long time ago on a different planet.”

They fell silent and walked on. Rose watched Hux’ back and mulled over what she had heard.

So Finn had also taken these survival classes? He also was raised in First Order schools … yet he was very different from Hux. Finn was one of the most sociable people in the resistance, charming and funny. She smiled a little when she thought about his laughter, his smile.

Hux on the other hand barely qualified as human. She had met droids who were better with people – and the way he had inquired about her rank in order to ‘talk to her’. Finn had told her that he didn’t remember his parents … it was well known that the First Order kidnapped children to raise them as soldiers. But Hux had mentioned his father, no doubt a high ranking officer, so he had a different upbringing that Finn. Of course Hux’s privileged upbringing would explain how he became a general by 34.

Rose scoffed; born with a silver spoon, indeed. No wonder he mocked her – even though she was far more useful than he was.

Come to think of it … he hadn’t even disputed that he was useless. Well, at least he wasn’t delusional about that. So she could be quite certain that he wouldn’t shoot her in the back, not yet anyways. And it wouldn’t be his style anyway … he would want to face her when he killed her.

Strange, she hadn’t even thought about the possibility that he would turn on her the last couple of days.

Rose saw a log a little off the road and called out to make Hux stop. He wearily sat down as she stalked over and started to look for larvae.

And since when did she know what his style was? Hux had no ‘style’, he was a murderer plain and simple. Damn it, she really needed to get off this planet.

 

 

The nerfs had settled in another small clearing. They were guzzling grass and eyed Rose and Hux with mild disinterest. She reached into her pocket and took the dark blue berries out, she threw them in front of a nerf. It sniffed at them and turned its attention away.

“I guess we better not eat those,” she said.

“Are here other berries they’re eating?” Hux asked.

They split up and observed the nerfs. When they met up again they both hadn’t come up with useful information about the local flora. But at least they had found more bushes with red berries.

 

 

“Well, I’m done for tonight,” sighed Rose and let herself fall on the ground as soon as they reached camp.

Hux looked as pale and sick as ever but she had to hand it to him, he didn’t whine about it. He just limped off to gather fire wood. After he had started the fire he eyed her shortly before he took the pot and put it on the fire.

Rose’s eyebrow rose – what was this? Was he trying to proof that he was useful? She closed her eyes and relaxed, it didn’t matter. At least she could take a break now.

She was startled when she felt something nudging against her leg. She exhaled when she realised that Hux had just podded her to wake her up. He had pulled the pot from the fire. Dinner was served, she thought and pulled the fork-like twigs from one of her pockets. Wordlessly she handed one to Hux and they both started eating.

When he checked her splint later, she thought about Wex. She still felt bad about leaving him. He deserved better. She could’ve buried him now at least … but the smell … the thought alone made her shiver.

Hux seemed to notice the slight trembling and he lifted his gaze.

Rose looked away and put her left hand around her medallion. Usually it gave her comfort but today it wasn’t working. She missed Paige so much, she wished she had a picture of her. Paige had been so proud to be selected for … and she had looked so dashing even in her brown jumpsuit … She had always been the daring one, she always knew what needed to be done – calm and strong.

Her heart ached at the memory of her sister. Rose felt tired and hopeless.

Hux finished his task and sat back, clearly waiting for her to do her part.

Rose glared at him but she couldn’t muster the anger she had felt before. She was just exhausted. She cleaned his wounds quickly and patched him up again.

After that she crawled into the shelter and lay down, still caressing the medallion until she finally fell asleep.

 

 

The sun woke her. Hux was still soundly asleep. She groaned and wiped her eyes and crept out of the shelter. She ate a handful of berries, made a new cone out of a leaf and left the camp.

A couple of hours later she returned and surprised to discover that Hux was still sleeping. She crouched down and put her hand on his forehead. He was glowing.

From what she had seen in the evening the inflammation was slowly getting better, but of course he had overexerted himself. Well, she had to shift through the cables and spare parts they had hauled to their camp.

Rose’s attempt to bend some small cross beams into something resembling a hook took her quite some time. It was almost evening when Hux finally crawled out of the shelter, he still looked exhausted.

“How are you feeling?” asked Rose and put the hook down.

“Better,” he said and set his lips into a thin line. He sat down next to Rose and took a gulp water from the canteen lying next to her.

He flinched a little when she put her hand on his forehead. “You are still hot. Take it easy, will you?”

He looked at her, scanning her face. Hux looked uncomfortable.

“If you’re feeling sick at least get out of camp before you puke.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m not sick.”

“Okay, then let me have a look at the wound on your chest.”

As it turned out it was indeed getting better; at least she had the impression that the inflammation was less red. He checked her splint. It was still firm.

To her surprise he started to unwrap it.

“I thought it was fine,” she said.

Hux cleared his throat. “We should check the skin underneath the- because of the dirt.”

Rose frowned but didn’t say anything. He quickly checked her arm and splinted it again.

A distant rumble let them both look up – dark clouds were slowly moving over the forest. Rose heard growling thunder and threw a worried look at their shelter, or rather at the few branches she had piled up. There was little doubt that they would get soaked.

“I’ll get more branches,” said Hux and got up.

“Alright, I’ll collect the largest leaves I can find.”

 

 

When the rain started falling they had just managed to pile up more branches and had jammed the same giant leaves they usually used to collect larvae between them. Hux moved firewood inside the shelter and covered it with leaves. With the pot and their food there wasn’t much space left. They did their best to stay away from each other.

The heavy raindrops soon made their way into the shelter, Rose felt her back and her right shoulder getting wet. In the middle of the shelter was a dry spot left, right next to Hux. She hesitated before she scooted over.

A couple of hours later they tried to settle down to sleep. It turned out to be difficult to stay dry and stay away from each other. Rose gave up after a few awkward turns and tosses.

She propped up on her elbow and turned to face Hux.

“This isn’t going to work. Let’s deal with this like adults – turn around,” she said.

His eyes widened and for a moment he looked like he wanted to object, but then he just turned around. Rose gulped and lay down behind him, they didn’t touch but it was close enough to feel his body heat. She put her hands in front of her, her fingers almost touching his charcoal uniform. She stared at the smooth fabric for a while, unable to close her eyes. Hux’ breaths of air were shallow; well, at least he was as uncomfortable as she was.

She closed her eyes and focussed on the sound of the rain and the distant thunder. The pattering calmed her down, she began to feel sleepy and a few minutes later she fell asleep.


	9. The Knife

She dreamt about Finn that night. They were on Jakku and were looking for something in the desert. It was hot. Just when they were about to unearth something near a destroyed walker she woke, her throat parched. She rubbed her eyes, trying to remember the details of the dream when she noticed that someone had snuggled up to her back. It took her a fraction of a moment to realise that it wasn’t Finn. She scooted quickly away, right into a large puddle.

The water dispelled any drowsiness. Two large rain drops fell on her head and reminded her that the rain still hadn’t stopped. She groaned.

Hux was still sleeping, he snored a little. A strand of hair had fallen into his face. They had turned around in the night, she felt his warmth on her back. Another raindrop trickled into the shelter and fell on her.

Should she go out and try to find food? She would be soaking wet in a matter of minutes … The temperature on the planet was generally warm, but the wet parts of her clothes made her feel cold.

She sighed and scooted back over, carefully she laid down again. Just close enough to feel his heat. He mumbled something in his sleep and suddenly snuggled up to her.

Rose froze, ready to bang her elbow against his chest, but when she heard his silent snoring continue she exhaled. She could get up or wake him … but on the other hand what was the point? They already had slept this way all night long as far as she knew. It was pointless to get squeamish now. If the rain continued they had to settle in a similar way for the next night anyway.

She closed her eyes and did her best to relax. Just when she was about to fall asleep again Hux’s deep breaths stopped and he moved. Rose pretended to be asleep, she didn’t want to talk right now; it was already awkward enough.

He shifted a little but he didn’t move away. Soon they were both asleep again.

 

 

A loud clap of thunder startled Rose and she propped up on her elbow, looking up. Their make-shift roof was still there; she wiped her face and sat up. Behind her Hux pulled away. She looked over her shoulder – he glanced at her, then he averted his gaze.

She checked the larvae they had left and began to set up a fireplace near the entrance. The occasional rain drop wouldn’t be enough to extinguish the fire once it was properly started.

They ate slowly, silence hanging heavy over them. Rose was soon bored. She wasn’t used to sitting around. Much less being quiet.

“Guess you don’t have a raincoat in there,” she said and pointed to the backpack.

He scoffed. “Don’t you think I would’ve procured it by now, specialist?”

She picked up a small stone and started to play with it. “You’re a jerk, it’s entirely possible that you didn’t want to share it with rebel scum,” she said lightly.

“Petty insults? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“But there is some jacket in it, isn’t there?”

“It’s my great coat – and before you ask: it’s made of wool. So it will be soaked in a matter of minutes.”

Rose threw the stone away. “Well, this sucks. But since we’re running out of food …” She started to crawl towards the entrance. “And I’ll go alone, you need to get better so you can climb up that tree.”

“You’re in no position to-“

“I know!” she snapped and exited the shelter. The cool raindrops and the air were refreshing. She took a deep breath and walked in the direction of the clearing.

She found plenty of berries and larvae – but she was completely soaked when she finally returned to camp. She felt cold. Well, perhaps they could start a fire and she could try to get at least a little dry before the night.

When she entered she noticed that Hux had already started a fire. Water and some green leaves were boiling in the pot. Somehow he had managed to form a cup out of a piece of alloy. He quickly looked up before he ladled the hot liquid. First, he smelled it, then he blew on it before cautiously taking a sip.

“How does it taste?” asked Rose and put the food into a dry corner.

“Bitter,” he said and took another sip.

“Too bad that we don’t have any sweetener.”

“I don’t mind. I actually like my tea bitter.”

“I’m more a caf kind of person. When I’m working I usually drink about seven cups.”

“I’m usually drinking three cups of Tarine tea a day. It helps me focus.”

Rose sat down near the fire and rubbed her hands together. “And how did you determine that these leaves are tea?”

“I grated them and smelled. The aroma was quite similar to teas I know.”

“You didn’t happen to find caf plants? Ugh, I want a cup of the strongest caf so badly!”

His mouth twitched. “I didn’t stray that far.”

“Well, I’ll take the next best thing,” she said and reached out with her hand.

Hux handed her the cup. Rose took a sip and grimaced.

He chuckled, and the sight of him smiling caught her off guard. “It’s an acquired taste.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” She handed him the cup back. “You seem better.”

He straightened his jacket. “I think my fever has finally broken.”

Rose leaned forward and checked his chest injury. The inflammation was indeed less red. There was no pus either.

“Looks good, so when the rain lets up we can try to get up that tree,” she said and held out her splint.

He fastened her splint. When he let go of her arm, he cleared his throat. “Your arm, it’s cold.”

“Well yeah, but at least we have something to eat. But I admit my clothes feel quite clammy.” Rose hugged herself, her overalls were still wet. It wouldn’t dry until sunset. She had to get out of the clothes. Kriff.

She grabbed the backpack and pulled the greatcoat out of it. Hux observed her, still drinking his tea. He averted his eyes when she zipped her overalls open. She wriggled out of her clothes until she was in her underwear and put the great coat on; it was of course too big for her but it was warm and dry.

It was strange to wear the coat. She recalled when she put a First Order uniform on – Finn had been with her. She gulped when she watched Hux getting another cup of tea. He had been there too. Had sneered at them, had slapped Finn and ordered Captain Phasma to execute them.

And now she sat here with him. She clenched her fists. Strange, it was almost like she had forgotten what he had done. She hadn’t thought about it when she patched him up nor when they had talked about their favourite beverages.

Finn was certainly worried sick about her, looking for her and she-

“What kind of medallion is that?” asked Hux.

She blinked and looked down; she was holding it in her hand. She hadn’t even realised that she had reached for it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said quietly. What would Paige think about her? Sitting here with _him_.

“Was it the traitor’s gift to you?” There was a hint of venom in his voice.

She was almost grateful for it. “What about your customized hidden dagger? Was it a gift?” she hissed. It felt good being angry.

He looked puzzled. After a few moments he spoke again. “It wasn’t a gift. I bought it myself after- a special occasion.”

Rose tried to muster up enough anger to mock him, but her rage had already tickled away. She thought about Paige, kind, strong Paige. She had given her a half of the medallion, the medallion she had made to remind her of home. It was all that she had left now. Paige … She choked up a little and tried to hide it by pretending to check her splint.

She had to blink and sniffle a little, damn it! If Hux wasn’t completely deaf and blind he would’ve caught on by now.

“I-it’s a monomolecular blade,” Hux continued. “It’s not as stable as steel but much lighter and sharper. The handle is made from Arkanian oak. Wood might be a bit archaic but the grip is much better in my opinion.”

Rose composed her face into a neutral expression and looked up again. She was … grateful that they pretended that she hadn’t almost bawled like a little girl. “It’s light, much lighter than my knife back at h-home.”

“I could imagine that you use your knife for work? So it- it would make sense that it would be heavier and sturdier.”

She cleared her throat. “Well, it’s a multi-tool thing, with different blades. It’s easier to cut wire with it than with a wire-cutter.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They fell silent for a moment.

“I guess we have run out of things to say about knives,” Rose said.

“Honestly I’m a bit surprised, it’s such an interesting topic,” retorted Hux dryly. “My first commander could go on about blasters and knives for hours.”

Rose snorted before she could stop herself. She cleared her throat again. “My dad always talked about mining equipment. The worst part was that mum was into it too. But then it’s all they’ve ever known and cared about. Trade disease I guess. Needless to say that our table talk was a bit dull.”

Hux frowned a little. “Yes, it was … dull. But my father wouldn’t stop-”

“Your father? But didn’t you just say-“

“I misspoke,” he said and looked suddenly angry. “I- well, my father was my first commander.”

It was clearly a sensitive topic, interesting. She decided to move on for now. “I see – the food wasn’t that great either to be honest, my mum was a terrible cook. But now I would give my right arm to have some of her stew.”

He was still tense and shifted his weight. “I liked the rations well enough.”

“You know what I would like to eat right now? Huttese noodles with bogweed! It sounds gross, but it has a zing to it.”

He still looked uneasy. “Ration bars would be enough for me,” he finally said.

No wonder he’s so skinny, she thought and started to prepare the larvae. “Well, this is all we got.”


	10. The Villain

The rain stopped after the sun had set. Rose checked her overalls but they were of course still damp.

“I guess I have to borrow your coat for a while longer,” she said and sat down.

He barely looked at her and continued stare into the fire, poking it with a thin twig. His hair hung onto his face and beard stubble was visible. She looked at him from the corner of her eye.

When he wasn’t his usual slimy self, he didn’t look that bad she realised. He looked … normal. Her thoughts returned to their earlier conversation – it was strange to imagine that someone like Hux had parents, had been a child once … but of course all people in the First Order had parents, had friends, lovers and even had children themselves.

Rose had of course known that she wasn’t fighting monsters but people, but it still hadn’t occurred to her that they were _real_ people. How strange.

She picked up a piece of fire wood and started to whittle. She tried to carve simple ornaments in it. After she finished, she let her fingertips wander over the badly carved ornaments and the rough edges. From the corner of her eye she saw that he was looking at her. Probably plotting ways to get rid of her once she had fixed the long-range comm.

She put the branch down and put the knife away.

“What was the special occasion?” she asked.

“What?”

“When you bought the blade.”

He pressed his lips together and didn’t answer.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Come on, we’re stuck here and it’s boring.”

“Alright, if you tell me about your medallion first.”

She hesitated shortly, then she straightened herself. “My sister made it. She kept one half and gave the other to me.”

His eyebrow rose. “And why didn’t you want to talk about it?”

“Because she’s dead,” she made an effort to keep her voice steady. “She was the pilot who destroyed your dreadnaught,” she added after a moment.

For a moment Hux looked as if he wanted to sneer, but then he just looked away. Only then she realised that she had clenched her fists. She exhaled and brushed her hair out of her face.

“Your turn.”

“I brought it after my father was killed.”

“Oh … so was he killed during a battle?”

He scoffed and looked her in the eye. He leaned forward and said quietly. “I orchestrated his death. I bought the knife to commemorate the occasion.”

A shiver ran down her spine. “You killed your own father?”

He shrugged. “He got what he deserved.”

Rose gulped. A sudden bang of fear ran through her. She had thought that she had gotten a sense of him, that she was never afraid of Hux – that she had been scared of his gun, what he would do with it but never him. She wrapped the coat closer around herself.

He laughed joyless. “By the stars! It really bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“He was your father.”

“If you’d known him you would understand,” he said with a scoff. “Or perhaps you do understand – I’m told I’m the spitting image of him. A cold, merciless sadist.”

“And here I thought you delude yourself about bringing the galaxy order and stability, but you actually admit that you’re evil.”

He laughed again, but it sounded forced. “Evil is a relative term is it not? But I know what I am – I blew up an entire system, killed billions. Men, women and children. Don’t tell me that you wouldn’t kill me if given the chance.”

“Would it make them alive again?”

“What?”

“Would it make them alive again? All those people?”

“Of course not!”

“Well, then what is the point of killing you? You’re just one of the many murderers in the First Order. Most of them haven’t killed billions, but they still pull the trigger, push the buttons.” She looked him straight in the eye. “A cog in the machine. I want to stop the whole damn machine not just dispatch of some of the cogs.”

“I’m not a cog! I’m the head of the military!”

“And who is in charge now that you’re stuck here?” hissed Rose.

His eyes went wide. “General Nuresh is my second in command. She-“

“- is going to replace you if you don’t make it back to the Order.”

He seemed to pale but it was difficult to tell in the dim light if she was just imagining things.

“Of course she will,” he said a little too quickly. “The First Order doesn’t have to rely on my talents alone.”

“A cog in the machine like I said.”

He grimaced. “Should I ever be put on trial I have to remember that one. Though I hardly believe that anyone would be dense enough to actually believe it.”

Rose leaned back. “I never said that you’re not guilty, I just said that I wouldn’t kill you. There is a difference. I really do hope they put you on trial for the whole galaxy to see that there is still justice.”

“Justice?” he chuckled. “You really think something like justice exists?”

“Mock me all you like, but I still believe that there is hope for justice. That’s why we’re fighting despite the odds.”

He remained silent for a moment before replying. “Idealism will only get you so far. In the end it’s a question of power pure and simple. I did get where I am today because I did what I had to do, not because of” he scoffed, “hope or idealism. There will always be the powerful and the powerless, anything else is ornamentation.”

Rose exhaled. “If that is what you truly believe – suit yourself. I think there is more to the galaxy, much more.”

She picked up a new branch and started to whittle. She thought about what Hux had said. A pretty bleak way to see the world – but what had she expected from a guy like him? To him it’s all about power … or is it more about not being powerless? She tried to carve a leaf-shaped ornament. He had mentioned that his father got what he deserved but a couple of moments later he claimed that he didn’t believe in justice. Wasn’t that justice? Strange.

Hux had claimed that he was a sadist, another strange thing. Rose had met a lot of brutal, cruel people in her life, back on Hays Minor and even in the resistance and of course while fighting the First Order. They all had that glint in their eyes when they saw others in pain, a half-smile on their lips. But that wasn’t what she had seen when Hux had threatened her or when he had patched her up.

Something didn’t fit – Hux had casually ordered Finn and her to put to death when they had been caught on the Supremacy. He had slapped Finn and sneered like a villain from one of the fairy tales her father used to read to her. But here … something was different. She couldn’t put her finger on it.

She finished the carving. The leaf looked at least a little like a leaf. She smiled a little and started to carve a design with notches next to it.

 

 

Later, when they lay next to each other on the only dry patch of ground, Rose could feel his breath on her neck and his warmth. She still mused about their conversation – Hux on the other hand had fallen asleep pretty quickly.

Here she was, lying next to an enemy and it didn’t disturb her as much as she wanted. She should be repulsed, disgusted but she wasn’t. Was she getting used to his presence?

A sudden twitch from Hux startled her, he gasped and sat up. She turned and saw an expression of terror on his face, his breath was ragged and he wiped his face.

“Are you alright?” she asked – the question just slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

His eyes darted to her, he cleared his throat. “Of course, I- just-“ he broke off. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay.” She turned away.

After a few moments he calmed down and settled behind her. She waited for him to fall asleep again.

“I’m usually not dreaming,” he suddenly said.

“All humans dream, we just don’t usually remember.”

“I know, what I meant was- I’m not in the habit-“ he broke off.

“You mean to tell me that you don’t have nightmares? After all you’ve done?” She didn’t expect an answer. But perhaps it was the later hour or the soothing, intimate darkness, Hux actually did:

“I used to have nightmares. They stopped after I bought the blade.”

She glanced over her shoulder, but she couldn’t see his face. “Your father?”

“He killed my mother and made me watch,” he said so quietly that she almost didn’t hear him.

“Why?”

“She was kind and weak – she actually loved him I think. Despite everything he did … she didn’t understand that he didn’t deserve it.” He gulped. “She wanted me to stay with her, but he wanted make a soldier out of me. So he got rid of her.”

Rose shuddered. ‘I’m told I’m the spitting image of him. Cold, merciless and a sadist’ had Hux said. He had been moulded into the man that he hated, if- if it were anyone else she’d-

She was at a loss for words. But Hux continued anyway, as if a small crack in a wall had led to a dam failure. Words started to pour out of him.

“She screamed. She shouldn’t have screamed – he hated that. He hit her but she didn’t stop begging and crying and screaming. So he grabbed her by the throat until she stopped moving. ‘She spoiled you’ he said, ‘you are soft and weak-willed. But it’s not too late, boy, I’ll teach you and I’ll teach you well’. And he did, he taught me everything until the day he died.”

The silence that followed was ear-deafening. Rose gulped. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, as I said – he got what he deserved.”

Rose wanted to say something, anything but nothing came to mind. She couldn’t, she couldn’t feel sorry for him despite the iron grip around her heart. Finn had been trained to be a killer, but he refused to become a murderer – Hux could’ve done the same couldn’t he? But instead he chose to follow his father’s footsteps, to bring death and destruction.

But he still was a human being, wasn’t he? And he was clearly in pain, suffering from a trauma that cut so deep that he still had nightmares decades later. A grown man shivering from a bad dream.

She turned around to face him, then she closed her eyes. She could pretend it wasn’t Hux, just for a moment. She scooted closer and used her good arm to embrace him.

A sharp intake of breath from him almost let her open her eyes, but she held them squeezed shut. Finally he exhaled and hesitantly put his arm around her, very lightly as if he was afraid that she was fragile.

It was wrong.

She let go of him and turned briskly around, her heart was hammering against her chest and she felt dizzy. What was the matter with her? She should’ve done that! She pulled the coat closer around her.


	11. The Branch

The next day they barely spoke. They gathered food and continued to make rope from the cables they had found, after a couple of hours they finally had something that resembled a rope and make-shift climbing irons. The rain had finally stopped and they decided to try to climb the tree.

Rose’s overalls had dried and she could finally shed the large coat. Hux folded the coat neatly and put it back into his backpack.

He hesitated for a moment before he started to unbutton his jacket, then his shirt. He folded the clothes and put black leather gloves on. Rose observed him from the corner of her eye while she piled up firewood.

When she patched him up she had seen that he was rather skinny, but without his uniform jacket with its shoulder pads he looked almost unhealthy, haggard and sickly. There were old bruises and cuts visible on his bare back. He didn’t look like a powerful general but rather like a poor miner from some Outer Rim colony.

He ran his hand through his hair and stepped under the lowest branch. He jumped up and took hold of it. He pulled himself up awkwardly and caught his breath before grabbing hold of the next branch. Within minutes he was several meters above ground.

He reached for the hook and the rope attached to his belt and threw the hook upwards towards the next branch that was out of his reach.

He needed a couple of attempts before the hook and the rope were wrapped around it. He pulled at the rope and tested its stability before he put on the climbing irons on and slowly moved towards the canopy.

Rose stood under the tree, watching him. She had to admit that she had half expected him to fail. He didn’t exactly look athletic after all.

 

 

When he jumped down from the lowest branch, he smiled and handed her the fuel injectors.

“They’re a little scorched but they seem functional.”

Rose blinked and returned the smile before she could stop herself. “Uh, good.” She turned them around and checked them. They seemed fine.

He ran his hand again through his hair and seemed uneasy. He stalked over to his clothes and quickly put the jacket back on. As soon as he had closed the topmost button he turned to face her again. “Your turn, specialist.”

“Alright, let’s go-“

“It’s only a matter of hours before the sun sets. I suggest we go first thing in the morning.”

She looked up, the sun was indeed quite low. She sighed. “You’re right, I just can’t wait to get off this planet.”

“Depending who is picking up the signal you won’t be so glad to leave,” he dryly said.

Rose paused. She knew of course that it was possible that the First Order would find them before the resistance did. She had tried her best to forget about this option, but thinking about it now dimmed her mood. “I guess.”

 

 

“Do you want me to check your splint?” Hux asked after they had eaten and sat around the fire.

“Alright, it looks fine to me though.”

He scooted next to her, after a look he said: “I’ll take the rag off to check on the bone.”

She nodded and watched him unwrap her arm. The bulge was still visible but she thought it looked better – but perhaps she was just imagining things.

He held her arm tenderly when he resplinted it. It felt surprisingly good to be touched by a fellow human being. For a moment she looked in the fire and imagined that it was Finn or Poe who was vetting her.

“I’m done,” said Hux, his clipped voice shattered her illusion.

She was embarrassed and pulled her arm back, held it with her left hand where he had touched her.

“Perhaps you should check the wound on my chest,” he said. For a moment she thought he was blushing, but the fire had surely played a trick on her eyes.

 

 

She palpated his wound softly. It wasn’t swollen or hot anymore. Suddenly she was acutely aware how close they were. She felt heat crawl up her cheeks.

“It’s fine.”

Their eyes met, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat. “Good.”

She watched him button up his shirt and fasten his belt. His uniform was dirty and crumpled, but he still straightened it a bit. It was a pointless, mechanical gesture, without doubt drilled into him since childhood. Finn wasn’t obsessed with his appearance like that.

And the way Hux tried to slick his hair back. She didn’t think that it was vanity, it was something else. Perhaps an attempt to take control? To hide something?

She picked up a small branch and started to whittle. It wasn’t strange that she was musing about him, wasn’t it? There was not much else to do here, she told herself. Of course she would wonder about him.

“Where did you learn to whittle?” asked Hux.

She looked up from her work. “I didn’t. I watched my sister doing it – she was quite good at handcraft. That and singing. I’m not as creative as she was.” She lowered her gaze and continued. “My mother and she were quite the singers, but I’m afraid that inherited my talents from my father – I can’t carry a tune if my life depended on it.”

“You’re quite skilled yourself. The forks you made-” he broke off.

She laughed. “I wouldn’t say that, they’re crude. Just look at this ornament.” She showed him the branch. “It’s supposed to be a moon but it looks more like a squeezed Nara fruit.”

“I think it looks like a moon,” he said quietly.

“Well thank you! Finally someone who recognizes my hidden talents!” She blew the wood shavings away. “Anyway, I liked to dance when I was a kid. I was quite good – for a kid at least. My father came to every single performance, I guess he was relieved that I had inherited at least some artistic blood from my mother.”

He just hummed.

“What’s your hidden talent?” she asked.

“I don’t have one.”

“Come on, even a guy like you must have _something_.”

He didn’t respond. She looked up from her carving, he stared blankly at her.

“What did you do when you were a kid?”

“I liked to draw,” he finally replied.

“There you go. Were you any good?”

“I don’t remember. It’s been quite a while.” His voice was flat.

Rose finished her carving. It was a little better than the previous ones but still nowhere near good. She sighed and was about to use it to stroke the fire.

“What are you doing?” Hux sounded alarmed.

She flinched. “What? What is it?”

He pointed towards the branch in her hand. “It will catch fire.”

She shrugged. “So what?”

“Don’t you want to keep it?”

“What for? It’s just something I did to kill the time.”

He shifted his weight and frowned. “I see.”

“If you like it so much you can keep it,” she said with a laugh and handed him the branch.

He hesitated for a moment, then he took it. He blushed a little when he traced the carvings with his fingertips.

 

 

When Rose woke up the next morning her eyes darted over to Hux – he was still sleeping on his side of the shelter. Due to the dry ground they had slept apart again. She was freezing, so she started a fire to make tea.

As soon as the fire started to crackle he woke up too. He rubbed his eyes and propped himself up.

“Tea is ready soon,” she said while eating some berries.

He groaned and sat up. “Good idea. I feel exhausted.”

“Another nightmare?”

He eyed her with suspicion and relaxed a little after a few moments. “No, I don’t think so.”

 

 

Rose wiped the sweat from her forehead and took a look at her handiwork – the transmitter was apparently working again; it had taken her quite some time to install the chips. She looked around, Hux was nowhere to be seen.

After he had dragged out the remains of Wex he had mumbled something about checking the surroundings. She stepped out of the shuttle, she noticed a fresh mound next to the shuttle. In this moment Hux stepped out of the forest, holding a large metallic plate.

She pointed towards the mound. “Did you bury him?”

He nodded. “I did, specialist. I was at my shuttle and buried Captain Bahk too.”

She rubbed her hand on the rough fabric of her overalls. “Thanks I guess.”

He shrugged. “There wasn’t much else to do. Bahk deserved a proper burial for his service.”

“So did Wex,” Rose added. “I’m a little bit surprised that you-“

“Is the transmitter working?” he interrupted.

“Yes, according the display it’s sending out an automated distress signal. But without the proper tools it’s difficult to be sure if the signal is actually transmitting beyond the planetary orbit.”

“I pitched our camp near the river,” said Hux. “It’s still close enough that we would hear any arriving ships and we wouldn’t have to walk so far to get water.”

“Right.”

He turned and led the way; Rose took a deep breath and followed him.

 

 

The camp turned out to be slightly better positioned than the last one – he had put it up right under a huge tree with large leaves. The fireplace was built into the middle of the small clearing.

She sat down with a sigh and leaned against the tree. She felt exhausted, she wanted to sleep, nothing but sleep until help arrived. Until Finn and Poe arrived with a ship and took her away.

She hugged her knees and watched Hux piling up firewood. At times she felt like she knew him, and every now and then he surprised her – like now: Kneeling on the dirty forest ground and starting a fire, not minding the dirt on his once pristine uniform. When the fire started licking at the wood he looked over his shoulder and gave her a quick smile before returning his attention to the fire.

He really wasn’t who she thought he would be. Not cold or merciless … different from the man she had met on the Supremacy.

In this moment she realised that he had no further use for her. She had fixed the transmitter. Damn it, she should’ve installed something … anything to make herself indispensable. On the other hand she didn’t need Hux anymore, come to think of it he had outlived his usefulness the moment he had brought her the chips.

And yet she hadn’t even thought of getting rid of him. She wiped across her face. She could’ve taken him captive in his sleep instead of making tea, dammit! She looked at his back, how he was putting more firewood into the fireplace.

He liked watching him. Strange, awkward Hux. If she didn’t knew who this was …

If- if he were anyone else she would’ve thought-

It didn’t matter. Soon they would be off this planet. Best not to overthink it.


	12. The Knot

Two days went by, Rose was tense, always listening for starship engines. On the third day she got impatient and she checked on the transmitter – everything seemed to be fine. It had to work, it had to! she thought to herself. She sat for hours in front of the transmitter staring at it, as if she could will its signal to go farther and finally reach somebody.

Hux on the other hand was infuriatingly calm. He gathered food and continued looking for edible plants while she was checking the transmitter.

She began to feel unwell, worried. Had the resistance stopped looking for her and Wex? She couldn’t remember how many days she was stranded here, but it wasn’t longer than a week was it? She tried to piece the events together, and carved a notch into the tree for every day she remembered. A lump formed in her throat when she realised that it had been more than three weeks. She gulped and wiped over her eyes. They should’ve found her by now. Were they looking on the wrong planet? Did- did they have other priorities? -- she almost scoffed -- like winning a war? Did they think she was dead?

She took a deep breath. She had to stay calm. There was nothing she could do about this, she just had to keep going. They would turn up-

“Shall I check your splint?” asked Hux.

Rose nodded, glad that her gloomy thoughts had been interrupted.

She watched him check her arm, touching her wrist softly while taking a look at the broken arm. She felt less queasy; it felt good, comforting. It shouldn’t be this comforting. She closed her eyes. She could just pretend it was somebody else. To her frustration her thoughts returned to Hux -- despite her best efforts.

He splinted her arm up and said almost briskly: “Your turn.”

She opened her eyes and felt heat crawling up her cheeks. “It’s almost healed. There is nothing more to do besides wait,” she said.

The tips of his ears turned red. “I prefer it if you were thorough, specialist.”

She smiled a little. “Alright, anything to keep you from calling me ‘specialist’.”

He unbuttoned his jacket and she bent closer to check his wound. She carefully removed the bandage and used some hot water left over from Hux’s tea-cooking experiments to clean the injury or rather carefully wiping around the eschar. Apparently it wasn’t inflamed anymore, so she drew breath to tell Hux that she had been right and looked up.

Only now she noticed that he was looking at her. There was something tender in his eyes. He looked uneasy, pensive. Before she could say anything he shifted away from her and cleared his throat.

“Thank you.”

Rose felt again heat crawl up her cheeks. “No problem.”

He pointed towards the tree with the notches. “If you wanted to know how long we’ve been on the planet you could’ve asked. My holos chronometer is still working.”

“Eh, I know. I just wanted to work something out,” she stuttered. Of course she could’ve asked him but she didn’t want to show him that she was worried, scared even. “Just something to kill the time.”

“Ah,” said Hux. He didn’t seem convinced.

She turned her gaze again to the tree, and stared at the notches.

“How come that you’re not an officer?” asked Hux suddenly.

“I’m just a grease monkey,” she replied with a laugh. She turned to face him. Strange Hux indeed.

He got up and straightened his jacket. Then he clasped his hands behind his back. “You’re clearly overqualified.”

“What?”

“You are overqualified, you’re too skilled to be a simple mechanic!” Hux said. He started to pace back and forth. “You are efficient, an excellent technician and obviously very resourceful.”

Rose frowned. What in the galaxy was he going on about?

“Every commanding officer should see that it’s a waste of resources to let you do menial work.” He stopped his pacing and licked his lips. “If you were under my command I would promote you to lieutenant at least.” He exhaled and looked oddly self-satisfied.

She furled her eyebrows. “Are you implying that our commanding officers are inept?”

He looked baffled. “No … well, yes, they’re obviously ignorant regarding your talents, so-“

Rose sighed. “Can we not do this today? I’m too tired to listen to you slandering the resistance.”

Hux looked confused, he fell silent and sat down again.

 

 

Rose’s mood deteriorated over the next few days. When she wasn’t staring at the transmitter, she was staring at the notches. They’ll come, she told herself over and over again, ignoring the little voice that added ‘once they’ve won the war’.

She walked towards the camp. It was almost sunset and she was carrying the berries she had gathered. Her thoughts still circled around a possible rescue or rather the possibility that she would never be found; black despair slowly seeping into her mind.

Suddenly she stopped and sniffled. She sat down on a fallen-over tree and let the cone with the berries fall on the ground. Her strength had failed her, she couldn’t fix this. She was useless.

She sat there for a couple of minutes, trying to pull herself together. She stared at her splinted arm. The rag was holding everything firmly in place. Hux had really become proficient in making sure that it was stable.

Stupid Hux.

She wiped her nose with the back of her left hand and slowly started to loosen up the knot on her splint. After that she carefully picked up the berries that had fallen out of the cone and continued her way toward the camp.

Hux was crouching next to the fireplace, building a fire. She gulped and said loudly: “I got the berries, but the splint is coming off.”

He turned and eyed her.

“You really should do a better job, Hux,” she said in a neutral voice.

She briskly walked over and sat down, shoving the cone into his hands. She stretched her arm out and when he started to remove to splint she closed her eyes for a moment. Just for a bit, she told herself. His fingers brushed her wrist and her arm, and she felt how she calmed down.

His hand lingered on her arm after he had patched her up. This wasn’t right, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull it away. She opened her eyes and saw that he was looking at her, he looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end he just let her go and turned his attention back on the fireplace.

 

 

The next day it started to rain in the late afternoon. They had noticed the dark clouds in the morning and had reinforced their shelter with large leaves and branches.

Rose leaned against the tree, letting her fingers wander over the notches. Perhaps it was the rain or the fact that she couldn’t check on the transmitter, but she felt desperate. Why won’t they come? Are they looking on the wrong planet? She bit her lower lip. What if they never came?

“You’re unusually quiet,” said Hux.

She blinked and turned her head slightly in his direction. “I’m just gathering my strength to annoy you with yet another tale of my childhood.”

His eyebrow rose and he deadpanned: “I’m certain that this qualifies as torture on some planets. I’m not sure what’s worse: the threat or the actual deed.”

She gave him a wry smile. “If you were to entertain me with an anecdote of yourself I wouldn’t have to think of something to talk about.”

“I’m afraid my anecdotes aren’t good entertainment.”

“Either that or we’re listening for another couple of hours to the rain.”

He cleared his throat. “I had a pet once, back when my father was stationed on Jakku. There was a pond of some sort in our compound. There were a lot of insects around it and so there were these small sand lizards.” He gestured with his hands. “I used to watch them catch the mosquitos. The lizards jumped up from the ground and caught them in mid-flight. They looked funny and so I captured one of them in a box. I named it Wilhuf. After a while it became used to me and I carried it around with me.”

When he didn’t continue Rose asked: “That’s it? The whole story?”

He shrugged. “I told you that I’m not good at this.”

“An anecdote is supposed to end with some sort of punch line – what happened to Wilhuf?”

“He was just gone one day. I suppose I left the box open and he escaped.”

His answer had come too quick, and his mouth twitched a little when he answered her question.

“Somehow I get the impression that the story ended differently,” she said.

He looked at her for a while. “Maybe. But it doesn’t matter.” He licked his lips. “Our situation is bleak enough without sob stories.”

She rubbed her hand against her overalls. “It is, isn’t it?”

“You never asked me what we were doing on Ghrma 4.”

That made her sit up straighter. “Well, I thought you would never tell me anyway.”

He sighed. “Probably not.”

“So, what were you doing there?”

“Supreme Leader Ren ordered us to lead an expedition to recover a Force relic.”

“What kind of relic?”

“I’m not interested in this- this magic. I never asked,” he said bitterly. “Ren wanted it, that was all that mattered.”

Rose remembered how Rey had saved them on Crait. She had been awed by her power. “It’s more than magic.”

“It’s just another means to rule. It’s convenient to bend others to your own will, but it’s not how wars are won. It’s a distraction,” he hissed. “Ren is a distraction.”

“What is he like? Kylo Ren I mean,” she asked quietly.

Her question made his grimace. “He’s weak and that’s why he is dangerous. He has no sense of order and hierarchy. Arrogant, cruel and hot-headed.”

Rose let herself fall back against the tree. “When I heard who he was – who his parents were … I just don’t understand who he could turn out like that. General Organa is such a warm-hearted woman. Fierce and a little scary I’ll admit too but still.”

Hux was silent for a moment, then he said: “You’re giving parents too much credit. People make their own choices.”

“Says the man who presumably is the spitting image of his father.”

He bleached, but he recovered quickly. “Touché.”

“I don’t get why you accept this so easily. If somebody were to compare me to my mother I would scratch their eyes out – I mean I love her, but nobody wants to be their parents.”

He looked confused. “I don’t understand, what do you want me to say?”

“Come on, even from the scarce details you’ve told me it’s pretty clear that you hated your old man. Why would you compare yourself to him?”

“Because I’m like him,” he said with a frown. “Just like him,” he added in a low voice.

“A couple of minutes ago you just said that I gave parents too much credit, and now you’re telling me that he moulded you in his image. What is it now? It can’t be both.”

“That’s sophistry. We both know that we’re products of our environment as well as of our own choices.”

Rose rubbed her temples. “All right, we’re not getting anywhere with this. Let’s change the topic.”

They fell silent for a couple of moments.

“Well, I could tell you about the special features of the Trandoshian hunting knife,” said Hux.

Rose snorted despite herself. “By the stars! Just tell me about your progress with the local tea plants.”


	13. The Kiss

When they settled for the night, Rose felt the bleak thoughts creeping up on her again. The war was more important, she understood that. And if she were a real hero she would accept that there was a bigger picture. She tossed and turned, trying to shake off the iron grip that had taken hold of her heart. She couldn’t stop herself picturing Poe and Finn moving on, the resistance giving up on her.

When she finally fell asleep she dreamt about Crait. She watched her friends board the Millennium Falcon. Watched them fly away without her. She wanted to call out, to tell them that they had forgotten her, but no sound came across her lips. She just stood there unable to even move.

She gasped and almost jumped up. For a moment she thought she tasted salt on her lips, but then she realised that it was just her imagination. She groaned and wiped her face. The fire was long since expired. She could hear Hux snoring quietly on the other side of the fireplace.

She lay awake for about a minute, staring at the roof of their make-shift shelter, listening to the raindrops falling down.

Her ragged breath calmed down as her eyes got used to the darkness. It was only a dream, a stupid dream. But the feeling of dread wouldn’t disappear. The iron grip around her heart felt tighter than before. She choked up. She- she had to stay strong like Paige would’ve. She just had to wait a little longer.

But what if they didn’t come? What if she had to die here? All it took was a snake, a predator or even a wrong berry. Perhaps- perhaps it was better to just get over with it? For a very short moment the thought of eternal peace was alluring – no, no she was just tired and alone. That wasn’t her talking, all she needed was a break. A little break.

By the stars what would’ve she given for a bottle of cheap hooch. A night out with her friends, laughing drinking … She sat up, wiping once again across her face. A break, just a little break from all this.

She looked over at Hux, remembering how good it had felt when he had patched her up. Less alone. Before she knew what she was doing, she got up and crept over. She could just tell him that the ground on her side was wet, she frantically thought. If she could feel him behind her like back then at their first camp … just a little comfort, a little break to pull through the next couple of days.

It was dark anyway. He was probably drowsy … probably wouldn’t even remember the next day what lie she had told him in the middle of the night.

She lay down next to him and scooted closer, a sudden intake of air indicated that he had woken up as she touched his knees with her hollow of the knee.

“What-“

“It’s still raining,” she said quietly. Her voice trembled a little. “The ground was wet.”

She could feel his body heat on her back, his breath on her neck. After a few moments he shifted slightly. Hesitantly he put his hand on her upper arm. The touch sent a shiver down her spine, electrified her. His breath had quickened and he rubbed his thumb gently over her upper arm. Her heartbeat accelerated. She moved backwards until she touched his body with her back.

His hand now moved up and down her arm, caressing her softly. He placed a light kiss on her neck, she pressed herself closer to him, feeling his growing erection through his pants.

His hand wandered downwards in slow circling movements until it reached her hips. He leaned over her shoulder; the light was very dim, but she still could make out his face, saw the half parted inviting lips. She was tempted, very tempted … but then she closed her eyes and said: “Don’t look at me, and don’t talk …”

Just a bit, for a bit, she told herself.

After a short moment of hesitation his hand continued its way, caressing her with its warmth and its soft touch. She wanted to protest when his hand left her leg, but then she realised that he had reached up to the zipper of her overalls.

She turned on her back to make it easier for him. Her breath had become slightly ragged, she felt herself getting wet.

He pulled her undershirt up, his left hand moved further down until it had reached her panties. He circled around them, making her impatient. When he finally started to rub her through the panties she gasped softly. She felt herself getting wetter as he found the right pace; waves of pleasure rolled through her body. When his fingers slipped under the waistband and started to rub her clit she started to grind herself against his hand until she came.

After coming down she finally opened her eye and glanced at him. As soon as she met his eye she averted her gaze, making an effort to not look at him and reached down to his belt. He helped her to get his pants open and freed his erection. He inhaled sharply when she started to slide her hand up and down. She closed her eyes again and continued to caress him until he came with a low grunt.

They lay next to each other panting, after a couple of moments Rose reached for the canteen and washed her hand; he did the same. They didn’t speak when they scooted together, spooning.

 

 

She woke in the morning when he moved. She looked at him over her shoulder, still a little somnolent. He propped himself up and gave her a shy smile. She felt herself blush, a sting of shame in her chest. His smile faded.

“I’m going to the river. Wash myself,” he said, the tips of his ears red.

She propped up on her elbow and saw the remains of his cum on her overalls. “I-I should go too.”

“The rain has stopped, I think the sun will come out soon. We could uh, wash our clothes, too. They should be dry by the evening.”

 

 

They didn’t talk on their way to the river. Rose felt uncomfortable; she didn’t know what to say or how to act. Hux hadn’t said anything but by morning it had been quite clear that her spot hadn’t been rained upon at all. At least he didn’t gloat.

Should she just pretend that nothing had happened? That seemed pretty childish – it had been a slip-up, nothing more. Just a way to relieve the tension of being stranded on this planet.

The water was quite cool, Rose found when she washed her hands in it. By the stars, why wasn’t the planet more tropical?

She saw from the corner of her eye that Hux was hesitating. She knew him well enough to realise that he felt uncomfortable showing himself before her. He turned to walk farther away. Strange, awkward Hux indeed.

“Wait,” she called out.

He blinked in surprised and turned to face her.

“I think it’s better if one of us keeps an eye on the surroundings – if we’re both in the water apart from each other … well, there are predators and you can’t take your blaster with you.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re right of course. I guess I’m a little absent-minded today.”

“I guess we both are,” she quietly said and felt heat crawl up her cheeks. Then she cleared her throat. “You go first. I think your uniform takes longer to dry than my overalls – it’s thicker.”

He nodded and reached up to open up his jacket. He pressed his lips together and hesitated for a moment before he started to undress.

She did her best not to stare at him, but she couldn’t help but to get a glance or two. He really was skinny, not delicate but very lean. Despite his bony frame he looked soft, vunerable. There were several old bruises visible on his pale skin, not all of them were from the crash as far as she could tell. For a moment she imagined how it would feel to trace them with her fingertips. When he was completely naked he grabbed his clothes and waded into the river.

Within minutes his lips were blue and he was trembling, but he continued to wash himself and his clothes until he was done. Rose reached in the backpack to pull out the greatcoat. When she grabbed the coat and pulled it out a branch fell out. She frowned and picked it up – it was the branch she had whittled and had carelessly given him. Why would he bother to keep it? Strange. She put it back and took the greatcoat with her.

When he was finished she held out the coat and waited for him to come out.

“Could- could you just look the other way?” he asked, his wet clothes pressed in front of his chest, still standing waist-deep in the water.

She held up the greatcoat. “Listen, if you promise not to mention my stretch marks I promise that I won’t ever bring up your scrawny chest.”

“When you put it that way …” he said and waded out of the water.

He put the coat on and put his clothes to dry on low-hanging branches on a nearby tree.

Rose pulled the zipper of her overalls down and quickly undressed. She took a sharp breath when she stepped into the water.

“Damn it, it’s freezing.”

“You don’t say,” retorted Hux and pulled the greatcoat closer around him.

“You better warm up fast, I need that coat the moment I leave this liquid carbonite.”

“I detect a flaw in our plan.”

Rose was washing her hair. “You mean that one of us has to freeze to death?”

“We’ll just return to camp and start a fire.”

“The next time we’ll just heat some water and wash ourselves and the clothes in the camp,” Rose suggested, she couldn’t feel her feet anymore.

“You want to wash our underwear in the same pot we’re cooking our dinner?” he scoffed.

“We’ll just make another one. There has to be another piece of metal we can use.” She now started to wash her overalls. Her hands felt numb.

“Of course, and we can make proper tea cups and a kettle while we’re at it. We’re not savages, are we?”

She laughed. “Don’t be an ass about it, Hux. You got a better idea?”

He didn’t answer.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

She finished her task and waded out of the cold water. For a moment she felt warm and she quickly wrung her clothes out.

“Let’s head back to the camp,” she said and draped her clothes around her.

Hux got up. “Do you want the coat?”

“I’m alright for the moment, stars – your lips are still blue. Let’s just hurry up.”

 

 

They huddled in front of the fire, the coat was draped around them. Rose rubbed her hands together.

“We didn’t not think this through,” Hux said and rubbed his tights.

“Wouldn’t it be great if rescue arrived right now – I mean-“ she snorted. “It would be ridiculous wouldn’t it?”

He chuckled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about – it’s perfectly normal to huddle for warmth.”

Rose’s smile faded and she started to knead her hands together, pressing her fingernails into her palms. Perfectly normal … the medallion around her neck suddenly felt heavy.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up,” he said quietly, hugging his knees and rubbing his legs.

Rose stared into the fire. There was no need to overdramatize it. It wasn’t the smartest thing she had ever done but- but it had done the trick. She felt less miserable.

 

 

The next days were quite slow but Rose forced herself not to check on the transmitter, instead she started to build traps with nooses made from thin cables. She had no idea if it would work but she was bored and longed for something different to eat.

While she worked on her traps of various sizes, Hux had collected a variety of plants and was examining them. From time to time she glanced at him, watching him smelling and tasting the local flora. Sometimes he spit something out and grimaced.

“You’re going to poison yourself,” said Rose.

“We have to broaden our menu,” he pointed towards her traps, “as you know.”

“Too bad that the nerfs are gone.”

He laughed. “Even if they came back – what are we supposed to do? Try to penetrate their thick skull with a blaster?”

“Yeah I know. And we wouldn’t know how to conserve the meat – it would go to waste within the day.”

“That’s not the problem. We only have one blade and I highly doubt that it would be strong enough to cut through all the tendons-“

“By the stars! I would give my right arm for a nerf burger!” she exclaimed.

“To be honest I would already be content if we could get another snake.”

“Well, perhaps we get lucky with my traps.”

“You really think so?”

“No, but one can hope.”

She finished the trap and leaned back against the tree. The sun had almost set; soon another day would be gone. She looked at the notches in the tree but couldn’t bring herself to count them. When she looked back at Hux she realised that he was staring at her, there was something in his eyes. He shouldn’t look at her that way; and his look shouldn’t make her tingly.

 

 

That night she couldn’t fall asleep, instead she waited for him to join her on her side of the shelter. When she heard his clothes rustling she already felt her heartrate quicken. He settled behind her and put his hand on her arm, placing a soft kiss on her neck.

She inhaled sharply and he stopped.

“Shall I leave?” he asked.

Just a bit, she thought, just- “No … just don’t talk and don’t look at me.” She leaned back against him and closed her eyes as his fingertips trailed the zipper of her overalls. He didn’t pull it down, instead he slowly brushed over her nipples, even though the rough fabric and her bra she felt his touch and shuddered with pleasure. He continued caressing her nipples with slow circular movements and when he finally pulled the zipper down she grabbed his hand roughly and pressed it on her crotch. He found the pace quickly and started to slip his middle finger in and out of her while rubbing her clit. She moaned loudly when she reached her climax, pressing his hand firmly against her clit.

They turned around, Rose now lay behind Hux. He wanted to unbutton his pants, but she put her hand on his and he stopped and waited for her to continue.

She slipped her hand under his jacket, caressing his flat stomach, reaching up to his collarbone and taking her time to work her way down to his pants, cupping his bulge, eliciting a moan from him when she intensified her grip. He helped her unbutton his trousers and pulled them down. She squeezed his firm butt and trailed his hipbone with her fingers until she finally reached his dick. After a few hurried strokes he came.

They lay next to each other for a few moments. Rose finally turned away from him, expecting him to snuggle up to her like the last time.

“Um,” he said.

She propped up and looked over her shoulder. “What?”

“Mind if you lay behind me?”

“Uh, alright.”

They turned again and she put her arm around his chest.

Minutes later they had both fallen asleep.


	14. The Rescue

The next morning came and with it a guilty conscience. Rose grabbed hold of her medallion while eating berries for breakfast. She watched Hux cooking tea, the rays of the morning sun shining on his back and the back of his head, lighting up his ginger hair, making it look soft and warm.

She clenched her fist around the medallion. He had no right to look so soft and warm. And she had no right to want to touch his back, run her hand through his hair.

By the stars! She- no, she had to calm down. They were stranded on an alien planet, they had done what they had to to survive, eating larvae, snakes and Force knows what kind of plants. She just had- she interrupted her train of thought again. No it hadn’t been about survival what she had done in the night, it was a small comfort, nothing more. Yes, it’s perfectly human to react this way when under stress. Once they were off this planet she could just file it away under ‘stupid things Rose has done’ and forget about it.

Ah, whispered a voice in her head, and you’re picturing mussing his hair because you’re stressed now? Do you think Poe would do that if he were here instead of you? No, of course not. He would annoy ‘Huggs’ until his pasty face turned red.

She thought about Finn, the way he had looked at Rey back on Crait. They had never spoken about their kiss after that. She had really liked Finn, admired him. A true hero of the resistance – strong, good and brave.

Her gaze fell again on Hux. He had finished his task and was drinking a cup of tea. He turned and smiled at her. Stupid Hux. He looked striking in this light, his usual blue eyes seeming almost green, the stubble giving him an adventurous look. In a perfect galaxy she would’ve crashed with a dashing rebel on this planet, not Finn though, he was clearly out of reach for her, but perhaps … it didn’t matter. She let go of her medallion.

It wasn’t a perfect galaxy.

 

 

In the evening they didn’t even bother to lay apart from each other or pretend to be cold. Hux put his arms around her and brushed her neck with his lips, not quite a kiss.

“Not tonight,” whispered Rose.

“I didn’t mean- yes of course,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

He shifted a little. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Do you have somebody back in the Order?” She asked suddenly, emboldened by the darkness around them.

“No. You?”

“Not really.”

He shifted again. “Then why can’t I look at-“

“I just don’t want it, okay?” she snapped. Oddly enough she felt sorry for her harsh tone and she softly added. “This way we can both pretend. It makes it easier.”

He stayed silent for a moment, then he said: “Of course.”

 

 

“Aha,” said Rose and lifted one of her traps triumphantly in the air. “Behold the spoils of the mighty hunter!”

Hux stepped next to her and inspected the noose, or rather the small animal that was caught in it. “What is it? A rat?”

She squinted her eyes. “Looks more like a rabbit to me.” She looked up and grinned at him. “Anyhow, we could try to make a soup of it. There isn’t much meat on it, but perhaps it goes well with these potato-like vegetables you found the other day.”

He nodded and put the small animal in his back bag. They marched on towards the other traps Rose had laid out.

Four were empty, but the last one had trapped another small animal. Rose pulled it out of the noose and handed it to Hux.

“You’re incredible,” he said.

She waved aside. “Pfff, not really. We’re just lucky that there are some really dumb and clumsy critters on this planet.”

“At least they’re- wait, do you see that up there?” He pointed upwards.

Rose looked up and saw blue fruits hanging from a tree. A small bird-like creature was pecking on a fruit, feeding on the pulp.

They stepped closer, the fruits were on a low hanging branch but they were just out of reach for Hux. “You have to sit on my shoulders,” he said and knelt down.

Rose put the back bag down and climbed on his shoulders. He grabbed her by her ankles and stood shakily up. She had to stretch herself a little but she was able to collect four fruits. He knelt down again and she got off him. When he stood up, she showed him the fruits.

“Not bad, eh?”

He straightened his jacket. “Indeed.”

Her sight fell on his crinkly uniform. “Why are you still bothering with the uniform?”

“It’s comfortable,” he said while holding the backpack open so that she could put the fruits in it.

“A button-upped jacket is comfortable? My throat scratches even if I’m only looking at your collar.” She put the last fruit in and reached up to his collar; he held completely still when she opened the top-most button.

“There, isn’t that better?”

They stood close, and the way Hux looked at her with a glint in his eyes, made her in a strange way content. He lifted his right hand and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Suddenly the moment was over, Hux blinked and took a step back.

“Perhaps,” he said and reached up to his collar, he touched the button, but he didn’t close it.

 

 

It turned out that the small animals were quite tasteless but edible. After they had eaten, Hux took a bite of the blue fruit and grimaced a little.

“Well, the taste is horrible. A possible fermentation process I would guess.”

Rose chuckled. “Does that mean we can make our own booze?”

“Don’t get your hopes up, I suspect the level of alcohol is quite low.”

She got up and sat down next to him, took the fruit out of his hand and took a bite too. “By the stars! I thought you exaggerated about the taste.”

“Why would I do that?”

She shrugged and drank some water to get rid of the aftertaste. “So that you can get drunk on your own booze-fruits without sharing.”

“Booze-fruits? I think we should come up with a better name.”

She nudged him. “Hey, I like the name, besides, you can name the rodents.”

“What an honour,” he dryly retorted.

“We would have to split the plants – there are too many different bushes and trees for just one person.”

“I call dibs on the tea.”

“You’re just afraid that I’ll call your favourite beverage ‘dirty socks-tea’ or something.”

He laughed. “Wouldn’t you?”

She grinned. “Of course, what’s the point of naming the local flora and fauna if you can’t have fun?”

He laughed again. It had been a long time since he had frowned or sneered. When did this change happen? Rose couldn’t remember.

She realised that she was staring at him when their gazes met. His smile faltered a little and she saw this gleam again in his green-blue eyes.

He lifted his hand and cupped her cheek and drew slowly closer, lips half parted. He gave her a soft kiss on the other cheek. She could smell his scent: tea, pine and leather.

She closed her eyes, heat pooling in her loins. Her breath quickened. “We can wait for a bit, it’ll be dark soon,” she said quietly. “It’s easier-”

“I want to look at you,” he whispered next to her ear. “Please, just this once. You’re so beautiful … I want to see your face and I-I want to kiss you properly.”

Her eyes snapped open. “Hux-“

“You can keep your eyes closed. You wouldn’t have to look at me and I won’t talk,” he added hastily.

She ran her hand through his hair. The pleading look in his eyes gave her a sting in her heart. He had no right to look so vulnerable.

She glanced at his inviting, soft-looking lips and when she leaned forward to kiss him.

 

 

They shared a passionate kiss. When they broke it, he kissed her cheek, the corner of her mouth, her jawbone. She unbuttoned his jacket while he opened her zipper. She let her hands wander over his chest, his hips and finally grabbed his ass. His breath became ragged, then he pushed her shirt and her bra up started to caress her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over her sensitive nipples.

She inhaled and bit her lips. She let go of his firm ass and he slid down to kiss her breasts. She could feel his hands on her stomach, slowly circling downwards.

He pulled her pants down and touched her inner tights with his fingertips, sometimes brushing her panties while kissing her. Rose felt herself getting wet, she grew impatient when he again brushed against her panties without actually touching her vulva.

She reached down and put her hand on the bulge in his trousers, eliciting a moan from him. Finally his fingers slid under her panties and started to rub her clit. She opened his pants and pulled them down. She started to stroke his dick.

He kissed her again. They looked each other in the eye as they sped up their pace. Rose felt how he started to move towards her entrance and when he slipped his finger in and crooked it, she groaned and let go of him, focussing entirely on the sensation. Hot pleasure was building up inside her, but she still wanted more.

As if he had read her mind he added another finger. She moaned loudly and enjoyed every touch, every move. She grabbed him roughly by his neck and pulled him down, kissing him passionately, whispering in his ear: “Come inside.”

He was panting, kissed her earlobe and her cheek. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said while pulling him closer.

He grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him. She watched him strip her overalls completely away. Then he pulled his own pants down and positioned himself between her legs. He looked at her as he pressed his dick against her pussy, when he entered her they both gasped. He started to move inside her, first slowly, then his thrusts became harder and faster.

Rose wrapped her legs round his hips while he fucked her. She felt full, hot and wanted him to go faster still. She felt herself coming close and she cried out when she came, only seconds later he came too and spilled his hot cum inside her before he collapsed over her.

He was still catching his breath, but he already gave her small pecks on her mouth.

When he pulled out, he gave her another kiss, tugging a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She cupped his face with her left hand and murmured: “Thanks.”

He put his hand on hers and petted it. “What for?”

“For being here.”

He settled next to her, embracing her hesitantly. “Y-you don’t need to worry. I made sure years ago that I won’t ever become a father.”

She turned to face him. “My protection should last for a couple of months … so everything is alright. Even if you hadn’t-” she cleared her throat. “Everything is alright.”

He started massaging her scalp. Running his fingers gently through her hair. Rose was warm, comfortable and she felt safe. She enjoyed his soft touches. In a way it felt like a dream. She knew of course that this wasn’t a dream, or a nightmare. It was life.

“Do you think that we’ll ever get off this planet?” she asked.

“I do. Someone is bound to hear our distress signal.”

She gulped. “Really?”

“Why so surprised?”

She shrugged. “I thought – if you’re not thinking that we are going to die here, why-” She interrupted herself, unable to finish the sentence: ‘Why else would we do what we’re doing?’

“It’s alright. There is no need to be gentle,” he said, continuing his massage. “I know that you don’t like me, not really.”

Rose felt a lump in her throat. She gulped, but it didn’t go away. She felt tears sting in her eyes and made an effort to scoff: “Of course I don’t.”

She waited for him to continue, to tell her that he didn’t care about her either. But he remained silent, and just softly continued to caress her. Stupid Hux.

 

 

Rose was awakened by the sound of shuttle engines. For a moment she thought she was still dreaming. But she untangled herself from Hux who was still drowsy; yes, it was clearly a ion-pulse-engine – she would recognize the sound anywhere. She buried her face and let herself fall back. Ion-pulse-engines were state of the art, there were only a handful of people who could afford them: among them the First Order.

Hux jumped on his feet. She could hear his clothes rustle. She knew the sound without looking what he was doing: Every day he had straightened his jacket, today was no different. Today it would finally pay off.

Slowly she got up. She rubbed her hands on the rough fabric of her overalls and set her sights on Hux. He didn’t smile, at least he didn’t smile. He had certainly recognized the shuttle, too. He knew that he had won.

She grabbed her medallion. She had lost, she had lost everything. From what Poe had told her, Kylo Ren could simply look into one’s mind. When a veteran resistance commander couldn’t resist him, what hopes did a simple mechanic have?

There wasn’t much she knew, but she knew the location of their new headquarters. She sniffled. She had to make sure that Ren didn’t learn about their base; from the corner of her eye she saw the dagger lying next to the fireplace.

“Rose, please don’t,” said Hux stepping between her and the fireplace.

She sniffled again. There was only one option left; she turned and ran. She heard Hux calling after her but she didn’t stop. She fell over roots and screamed in pain as she hit her right arm on a tree. She scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as her feet could carry her. After what seemed like an eternity she finally stopped, panting and sick from exertion.

Suddenly she heard a whirring noise above her, she looked up just in time to see a tiny black droid hovering over her. She struggled to get on her feet but before she could get away she was hit by an excruciating pain, hot and cold at the same time. Then everything turned black.


	15. The End

When she came to, the first thing she felt was a splitting headache. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes: a harsh light right above her made her squint. For a moment she was confused as to where she was, but then she remembered her flight and the strange black droid.

She buried her face in her hands, dread and despair slowly sinking in. They’d got her. She was no doubt prisoner of the First Order, kept in a cage on one of the countless star destroyers. Waiting to be interrogated or tortured.

Rose took a deep breath. Calm down, she told herself. She had to keep a cool head. She could still fix this … somehow. She cracked an eye open and waited until she got used to the light, then she sat up. Only now she realised that she had been lying on a metallic bed with a thin mattress. She looked around: she was in a small room, nothing besides the bed and a toilet. The dark floor had been wax-polished to the point where she could almost see herself as a blurred reflection. The walls were painted in black, and so was the door.

She slowly got up and limped closer to the door: it was a metallic sliding door with no handles. She checked for panels or any access point, but there was nothing.

She chewed on her lips. The wires to the door had to run through the wall. The question was how she could get to them. She returned to the bed and sat down, holding her right arm. Dull pain was spreading out from her broken bone. The splint was gone, so was the rag that had held it. She was still wearing her dirty overalls. Her bones hadn’t been mended. Had she been out for only a couple of hours? Or hadn’t they bothered to clean her up because her fate was sealed?

Before she could muse further on the topic the door slid open and a tall man entered. It took her a moment to recognize him, but when she did, she felt a lump form in her throat: Hux was wearing an impeccable uniform, polished boots, of course he was also clean shaved and his hair had been slicked back. His face seemed harsh and square. All softness was gone. He had apparently shed it like snakeskin.

A cold, merciless sadist, she thought with a shudder. This was the man who had killed billions, casually ordered her friends to death and he looked every bit the part. How could’ve she forgotten? What had she ever seen in him? She pressed her lips to a thin line and stared at him.

“Supreme Leader Ren is keen to get the location of your base,” Hux said in a neutral voice. “Tell us and we’ll let you clean up properly and get you medical attention.”

“You know that I won’t talk,” she said. She couldn’t keep the fear out of her voice.

He looked around as if he wanted to make sure that nobody was watching them, then he stepped closer and sat down next to her. “Please talk. Nobody can withstand Ren. We can compensate you-“

“Do you think I want to be tortured?” she snapped. “I’m no hero, I’m scared shitless. But I owe it to my sister and my friends to try.”

“It’s pointless,” he said and for a moment there was worry apparent on his face.

“No, it’s pointless to try to convince me to sell out. If- if you would’ve just let me kill myself on the planet-“ she broke off. She pulled herself together and looked him straight in the eye. “If you have any respect for me whatsoever you’ll leave your dagger here so I can finish the job before Ren tears through my mind.”

He gulped and got up. “I can’t do that.”

She thought about telling him that Ren would also know what they had done on the planet, what Hux had told her. She glanced at Hux, the smooth, cold Hux she had forgotten about. And for a moment she wished they were still on the planet, holding each other in the darkness. Kissing and caressing each other in silence.

The silence had been like a soft blanket; muting everything that wasn’t supposed to be said out loud. The unsaid words now made her throat sore, made the lump grow. She missed Hux, the Hux she knew.

If only she could convince … No, he knew what Ren would pry from her mind. She wouldn’t plead, wouldn’t beg – she wouldn’t dishonour Paige’s sacrifice. Not everyone was meant to be a hero, perhaps it was enough that she tried.

“Rose …”

Hearing him say her name made her choke up.

“Well,” she blinked tears away, “we always knew how it would end, didn’t we?”

A range of emotions was visible on his face, but they passed over so quickly that Rose couldn’t identify them all. Anger, misery and something else.

For a moment he looked like he wanted to say something, but then he just turned on his heel and left.

 

 

A couple of minutes later the door opened again; a med droid entered. Rose tensed a little but when it became apparent that it had come to mend her broken bone she relaxed some. She suspected that Hux had given orders to fix her up despite her refusal to share intel, perhaps he hoped that she would change her mind? Her suspicion was confirmed when two Stormtroopers entered and informed her that they were taking her to a larger cell.

It had a small bathroom with a shower. A grey jumpsuit was lying on the bed. Two ration bars sat next to the clean clothes. She ripped the wrapping open and devoured both of them. She knew that they were bland, but after all the larvae and berries, they tasted nothing short of delicious.

After she had eaten, she quickly grabbed the clothes and headed into the shower. When the hot water pattered on her head, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation. She grabbed the small piece of curd soap that was lying in a small receptacle and stared to clean herself.

When she stepped out of the shower she felt better, stronger. Perhaps, perhaps she could still make it? Ren was Supreme Leader now, perhaps he didn’t have time right away to interrogate her.

She put the grey jumpsuit on and started to inspect her new cell. Half an hour later she sat down on the bed with a sigh. The Order certainly knew how to keep its prisoners – so far she hadn’t detected any flaw.

Her confidence started to tickle away again, what had she been thinking? Of course she couldn’t slip away just by trying a bit harder. This wasn’t one of her daydreams, this was the reality. She lay down on the bed and curled up to a ball.

 

 

A few hours later the door to her cell opened. Rose glanced over her shoulder. She wasn’t surprised to see Hux. He had an angry look on his face and twisted his mouth.

“Supreme Leader Ren has announce his arrival in two hours,” he started, “I-” He licked his lips. “Have you changed your mind?”

Rose stood up and rubbed her hands together. “No.”

He checked his wrist holo and exhaled. “Very well. Get up, you’re coming with me.”

She frowned. “What?”

“I’m taking you to the maintenance hangar; a Gamorrean garbage freighter is supposed to leave in 21 minutes.”

Rose’s eyes widened. “You’re letting me go?”

He looked at her and gave her a sad smile. Then he averted his gaze. “Well, yes.”

Her mind worked fast. Was it real? Could they make it? “Won’t they get suspicious? Your people I mean?”

“They won’t question me … at least they won’t until Ren arrives. I’ve made sure that nobody will interfere in the hangar. It will look like a minor oversight in the duty roster.” He checked his wrist holo again. “We have to go now.”

He grabbed her by her upper arm and led her towards the door. Rose was still trying to get her head around the fact that Hux was apparently willing to betray the Order on her behalf.

The door slid open and they stepped out into the hallway. The two Stormtroopers guarding her door stood at attention.

“You two, with me,” said Hux.

“Yes, sir,” they echoed and fell in line behind Hux and Rose as they walked towards the turbo lift.

They stepped together in the lift and just when Hux was about to press the downward button, one of the troopers said: “There is an urgent message for you, general.”

Hux frowned and turned to face the trooper. “What?”

The trooper lifted his blaster rifle and trained it on Hux. “General Organa send her regards, Huggs.”

Only now Rose recognized the voice. “Poe!”

The other trooper lifted his helmet. “We’re both here,” said Finn with a smile.

Poe pressed the blaster into Hux’s chest. “Use your personal override and get us up to the officer’s quarters.”

Hux was livid. “You fool! There is no time-“

“Nobody wants to hear one of your speeches, Huggs. Just do it!”

Hux glanced at Rose, then he turned and pushed one of the buttons. The lift started to move. Seconds later it stopped and the door opened. A large hallway with several plain doors became visible. At the end was a big door with the First Order insignia on it.

“Whose quarters are those?” asked Finn and nodded towards the big door.

“Mine,” Hux said.

“Perfect,” said Poe, “let’s go there and have a nice chat.”

They almost dragged Hux towards his quarters. He didn’t struggle when they forced him to open the doors and once they were inside they forced him to kneel down and put his hands behind his head.

Rose took a quick look around: the room itself was sparsely furnished. There was only one grey sofa with a small table, a large desk with a holo station and on the wall was a shelf with various objects and holo pictures.

Poe held Hux at gunpoint while Finn checked the adjacent room. He returned moments later. “Just a bedroom and a bath – no worries.”

“I gotta say, Huggs, I expected your rooms to be a little more grandiose,” said Poe. “Not even a picture of a Mr. or Mrs. Huggs? That’s just sad.”

Rose flinched a little at that but did her best to appear unfazed. She felt ashamed. What would they say if they knew? How would they look at her?

Hux scoffed. “I suspect that is what distinguishes _Princess_ Organa from me.”

Finn bowed down to Hux. “No, what makes her distinguished is that she’s an actual human being,” he hissed.

Rose saw something from afar and wandered closer to the shelf behind the desk. There was a small box with colourful pebbles on it, the faded childish faces on the smooth stones had been painted a long time ago. Next to it was a small holopicture of a dark-skinned elderly woman. Another holopicture showed a small lizard. It was the last object that had caught her eye.

When she closed in, she saw that her eyes hadn’t deceived her: there was a small branch lying on the shelf. It was the branch she had whittled and given Hux. She looked back at Hux and noticed that he was looking at her too. He seemed to blush.

She felt a knot in her stomach. Of course she had known, they had both known. But actually seeing her stupid branch lying here …

No, she had to focus. “What’s next?” she asked. “Where do we go from here?”

“According to blueprints we bought on the black market on Hutta there is supposed to be an escape route to hangar 42 somewhere.” Poe sat down on the couch, his blaster was still trained on Hux. “All we need is its exact location.”

“There is no escape route – there was a long time ago. But the layouts have changed,” hissed Hux.

“Bullshit!” said Finn forcefully. “He’s lying. We just have to take a longer look.”

“Ren is on his way here,” said Rose. “We should hurry.”

“Relax, we still got about four hours,” said Poe with a charming smile.

“How do you know that?” asked Rose baffled.

“We got intel that you were captured by the First Order. Our contact even gave us the exact location of your cell and a time frame,” replied Finn. “They said that Ren was on his way but wouldn’t arrive until midnight.”

It took Rose all her willpower not to look at Hux. There was only one person who knew where she would be and when Ren would arrive. One person that cared enough about her. And when Ren announced that he would arrive earlier … Not everyone was meant to be a hero, perhaps it was enough to try.

She exhaled. “Hux said that Ren would be here in less than two hours.”

“That true?” asked Poe.

Hux nodded, he looked annoyed.

“Crap,” said Poe and checked his holo. “Finn, make sure that he doesn’t go anywhere. I’ll try to find the passageway with the map we’ve got.”

“There is no escape route!” yelled Hux. “You’ve got to-“

“Shut up, Hux,” snapped Finn.

Hux’ face screwed up in anger. “Traitor! How dare you to talk to me like that?”

Rose looked from Finn to Poe and to Hux. Damn it! They would never believe him, unless she told them to. But what should she tell them? That they could trust Hux because she believed he wanted to help her?

They would think that she had gone insane – and perhaps she had. Yes, she had lost her sanity on that backwater planet the moment she stopped hating the man kneeling in front of her. When she actually started liking him. When she-

Just thinking about it made her heart ache. She gulped and closed her eyes for a moment before she cleared her throat.

“Give me a moment with him.”

Finn jerked his head toward her. “What?”

“Let me talk to him.”

Poe frowned and nodded towards Finn. “Alright.”

She stepped closer to Hux, painfully aware of the dagger hidden in his left sleeve. She cupped his right cheek with her hand and pulled him slightly closer to her mouth right next to his ear.

She could smell the product in his hair, his after-shave and there was also his own smell that reminded her of tea, pine and leather.

“There is something you should know,” she whispered. “I lied when I said that I don’t like you. I miss you, even right now.”

She could hear him inhale sharply. She let go of him and stepped back. She could feel her friend’s stares on her back. She steadied herself before she looked at Hux; but it didn’t nothing to stop an iron grip clenching her heart when she saw Hux’s desperate, longing look.

“How do we escape?” she asked with a trembling voice.

“You need to take the turbo lift to sub-level 54B; there is a passage to hangar 11. It’s still under repairs from the last battle but it’s functional. There should be a shuttle for you to use,” said Hux tonelessly. “I need to come with you; you can’t access the hangar without a command code.”

The atmosphere in the room had shifted. Finn and Poe didn’t even impugn Hux or Rose. Instead they put their helmets back on and pulled Hux to his feet.

They didn’t speak until they entered hangar 11. Poe boarded the shuttle and checked it, after a couple of minutes he returned and gave them a thumbs up.

“What about him?” asked Finn and pointed his blaster at Hux.

Rose blinked and said determined. “We’ll leave him.”

“But-“ began Poe, but Rose interrupted him.

“We’ll leave him.”

Finn hesitated a little but then he lowered his gun and headed into the shuttle. Rose looked one last time at Hux. He just stared at her. Pale, miserable and sad. She wished she could run her hand through his hair, kiss him one last time, taste the bitter tea on his lips. She sniffled. Stupid, stupid Hux. Then she boarded the shuttle. Poe closed the door and they took off; Rose looked out of the back window and gulped when she saw Hux still standing there. His slim dark figure grew smaller and smaller as they flew away.

Finn joined her after they had jumped to hyper-space. She still stared out of the window, at the blurred stars passing by in light speed.

“What did you say to him?”

She inhaled and sniffled a little. “The cruellest thing you can imagine.”

“Well, I’m sure he deserved it.”

She smiled sadly. “Yes, he did.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to all my readers for their support and their comments! I hope you enjoyed my fic! :D
> 
> I'm putting finishing touches on another rather strange fic about Rey, Finn and Hux - so stay tuned for another RarePair fic with twists! :3


	16. Addendum

[](https://ibb.co/eo1DxT)  
I promised my readers to write a little something from Hux' POV and/or an epilogue - it didn't work out with an epilogue to "Cruellest things" so I tried to rewrite the whole story from Hux' POV with a fluffy ending (kind of): Check out [Photophobia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15213221/chapters/35283785)!

Cover art by [dandylion-puff](https://dandylion-puff.tumblr.com/)!

I hope you like it :D


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